She wouldn't ask, but she would be desperate to move in with me and get away from her extremely abusive mother.
I wouldn't wait for her to ask. She'd have a place to stay here until she didn't need it anymore, and I'd begin working on all those problems of hers... If she let me!
Abuse as a child is one of the hardest things to go through, and psychological abuse alone is incredibly destructive. You did great getting away from that and working on the problems your mum caused. I'm glad you survived it
And if anybody needs it, I empowered myself by thinking about things I wished a mom would do for me, and then learned to do them for myself, but also for others!
So if you might need a spare Mom, hmu!
That's brilliant you've become a real inspiration and the opposite of mom
Ugh. I don't want to think about it.
My 15 year old self was ambitious, pompous, materialistic and very edgy. I think she'd be disappointed I wasn't living in a castle, and confused as to why I wasn't a high powered lawyer making 6 figures. She would also wonder what happened to our "soul mate" from high school (lol). Honestly I don't care what she thinks, I'm glad my goals and priorities have changed since then.
Completely blown away. I had several things that I was completely utterly afraid of. And it was a lot of things at the age of 15. Meanwhile I was in the worst part of my life. So she would be absolutely in awe.
Wow Aizawa you've done amazing. You're alive, healthy and your mental health is far better. You're doing so well in day to day life it's incredible
Very confused about how I went from being a cishet conservative Catholic guy to an atheist bisexual trans woman. So, probably not stoked about that.
Aside from that, probably pretty happy! I’ve got a good job and a kickass wife. I have a dog and friends and a little garden. Those were all things I wanted in my future even when I was 15, and here we are!
She would be obsessed with my house, I totally had her in mind when buying it. She'd think I was insanely cool and hopefully feel a sense of relief that the way she feels at 15, while really difficult, won't last forever, there is a horizon. She also gets a massive hug from me, she did a tremendous job under heartbreaking circumstances.
As far as my life in the real world that I have to live goes: bitterly disappointed. As far as my sense of identity and beliefs go, happy. But also disappointed that I only got to this point when it basically seems like it's too late.
I just hope that in this hypothetical situation where my 15 year old self gets a glimpse of me now, that it causes my 15 year old self to do things differently and have a great life in a parallel universe.
It sounds like you feel disappointed in where you are right now. That's not a nice feeling, it's hard. What's caused that disappointment?
Just want to say, I was trying to answer your question without offloading too much, and I'm sorry that I kinda did. We all have problems and I don't want to make mine yours or anyone else's. I'm just feeling sorry for myself right now, that's all. And I'll probably magically feel better when I get my hands on some herb again. Tbh I'm thinking of deleting my first response because it's a bit much. Thank you for being kind and asking tho.
It's fine music I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't ok hearing the answer. You can offload any time
Thank you, awesome person in my phone. It already made me smile early today getting this response, so hopefully today is better than yesterday. Basically the TL;DR is life is shit, everything to make it not shit costs more and more money, and money is scarce and hard to come by and hard to save or do anything worthwhile with when you're just getting little bits of relief at a time.
But despite the downward spiral I was on yesterday, I do have half a plan of starving and neglecting myself a bit so that I can save up for that teaching English course. I'd love to actually go into programming because there's probably better money in it but at this point, my brain is too stressed and frazzled for it. So first I need some basic income so that I can try the programming thing when I'm a little more comfortable and less worried about everything.
Thanks for telling me that. That's a lot to juggle, you need money to survive in life. Nearly everything costs money, even water is billed and it's sometimes horribly hard to make ends meet. Everything to make life less shit costs money. It grinds you away.
You're being sensible and you know your limits, you know programming is good money but you're too frazzled. Looking at alternatives is really sensible... you won't learn well, and therefore won't earn if you're too frazzled to absorb programming. It's not now or never you can put it on the back burner.
I'm glad you're reaching out about it, it's the right thing to do and you need and deserve our support right now. We've got your back
Thank you again, it definitely does help to let it out sometimes. And it's nice to feel like you have a bit of community on here, as opposed to Reddit where you're just another part of the crowd. I barely used to even look at people's usernames on Reddit, this dynamic here on Lemmy where you see the same people regularly is new to me. At first I didn't like it but it's actually kinda cool.
Yes it feels more like old school message boards where you were a proper community. It was a totally different feel back then
On the note of recognising people around here, I've been wanting to ask. What's up with the other account? Have you got an impersonator on lemmy.world or are you just trying different instances out of curiosity?
I've actually been considering making a second account for news and politics, then blocking all of that from this account so that I don't have to despair and/or rage daily.
Ah I picked cheesetoastie off the top of my head cos it was gender neutral so I'd get attacked less (sad but true). I then started WomensStuff so my gender was blown anyway. I never liked CheeseToastie, I prefer LadyButterfly cos I'm a girly girl. Being on different instances mean I can see some communities and groups that my other instance can't cos not all instances are federated with other.
omg, I'm so glad to finally have this clarified - I had wondered which name you preferred 😅 CheeseToastie is still a super cute name, though 😄
Haha thanks I don't like it that much though! I'll trade you, I love your name 😍
That's fair. Sad that you felt you needed to hide part of you at first but I know how things are, so totally understandable. At this point though, if someone wants to attack you, we've all got your back lol. I'm sure I'm not the only one here that very much appreciates having you around.
And yeah, that is another reason to try different instances. I still want to check that alt community out that I can't see from here. I'm of two minds about this. On one hand I appreciate the level of moderation and protecting users on Blåhaj but on the other hand, I'm not against deciding for myself and doing my own blocking and moderation
Thanks Music that's a really nice thing to say. If it helps I've not staggered over any nasty stuff on either of my instances, so they feel pretty safe
I, um, I'm not sure actually 😅
She'd be very confused, and then excited that I'd finally figured it out. It only took me another 20ish years 😹
NGL I’d be a lot cooler and confident than I was back then lol
I think she'd love that I do lot for charity and stuff. She'd love my house, hair and like lots of my clothes. She'd have mixed feelings about me not being in touch with my family.
Regarding my sexuality... I think she'd probably shriek that she's straight and hide under the duvet. So I don't think I'll mention that...
There would be a mix of profound excitement, and profound disappointment.
"You have a husband? Hmmm okay I guess. Why are you gardening??? We hate the outside! We love having a library computer room and cats though. Fine fine. Get healthier??"
Yeah, that’s about right
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