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Came in under budget too. (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
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[-] riskable@programming.dev 31 points 3 days ago

Looks funny with a green hose and a yellow nozzle but a lot of bidet tools are just a spray nozzle on a (usually white-ish) hose. The nozzle is more of the kitchen sink variety but it's really not that different.

The real problem with this setup is the hose and nozzle are under the seat! No reason for that... Just keep it off to the side.

TL;DR: This setup will work fine. Maybe use a light touch on that handle though 😉

[-] Rooskie91@discuss.online 13 points 3 days ago

A lot of people in the west are accustomed to the kind you install under your toilet seat, but I was surprised to see the kitchen sink thing everywhere when I was in SE Asia.

[-] TurtleTourParty@midwest.social 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I prefer the kitchen sink ones. I've never accidentally gotten all wet from one of those like I have with the fancy toilet seat ones.

[-] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago

I never understood how to use the nozzle bidets properly. What angle do you shoot from?

[-] i_ben_fine@midwest.social 12 points 3 days ago

Nobody shares their bidet secrets. It's so hard to research before buying one.

Anywho, I use my bidet in the shower.

[-] ericatty@infosec.pub 7 points 2 days ago

I have a handheld that I fill at the sink with warm or slightly cool water.

I've got female parts so I angle from the front between my legs, so that everything flows front to back and then down.

I change the angle and shift a bit to get the backend bits so it doesn't splatter the front bits.

The handheld bidet water stream is more like a water pick than a shower sprayer, so you can be pretty exact with this one.

[-] Ephera@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 days ago

Personally, I lean forward and to the left, so that my cheeks spread, and then I take the nozzle into my right hand and hold it as if I was scratching my ass.
Afterwards, I fold two sheets of toilet paper and dry myself off at the surface.

[-] SmackemWittadic@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

THESE ARE SECRETS BIDET USERS SHOULD NOT DISCLOSE

(although I think I do the same lean to the left mainly because the hose is connected to the right side)

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago

If you have balls, doesn’t the water drip onto your balls? Or down the inside of your legs?

[-] Ephera@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 days ago

It doesn't, no. If you do it the way I described, you can't actually get the nozzle at an angle where you could target your balls or legs. It's not as low down as the beam from the built-in bidets.

On the first few attempts, you'll probably hit your cheeks more than you'd like, but that just rolls down the cheek until it hangs vertically and then it drops. I'm still seated when I do this, so my legs are more-or-less horizontal.
And well, with a tiny bit of practice, you hit the in-between every time, where the water is stopped pretty effectively and then it drops in the same place where you dropped the nuke.

I can understand the concern, as I had the same when I first tried it, but yeah, after the first few days of learning, I never splooshed the floor or my legs or my balls. I think, I splooshed my cheeks maybe once or twice when I was really sleepy, but that's about it.

[-] lowered_lifted@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

it's a bonus, if the balls got splashback on them or dipped into the water (happens to me quite often unfortunately) they can get a rinse.

[-] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 2 days ago

That hose and nozzle cost more than a cheap bidet.

[-] int_not_found@feddit.org 4 points 2 days ago

Cheaper than the free nozzle and hose, that have been rotting in the back of the shed for the past 2 years? I don't think so.

[-] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

An expensive bidet is cheaper than the water damage that will inevitably result after having rotting hose that is always under pressure and running through the house.

[-] jaschen@lemm.ee 7 points 2 days ago

In Taiwan, the older bathrooms have something similar to this but on the side. It has enough pressure to put out fires and please women.

[-] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

I should start stressing out

[-] RangerJosey@lemmy.ml 16 points 3 days ago

This isn't efficiency. This is a fetish. Bro is power washing his lower intestines.

[-] modifier@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 days ago

A real bidet is well worth a modest investment if you have the cash to spare, but this could work too.

I would just suggest rubber-banding the sprayer into the “on” position and keeping a kink in the hose easily reachable in front of the toilet. That way, you can simply unkink the hose to spray and rekink it when you’re done. No need to reach down under the dirty bits just to activate it.

[-] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

That's some peak landlord energy, I love it!

[-] Anarki_ 4 points 2 days ago

Kinky.

[-] Stupidmanager@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Ok, you poke fun but there are public bathrooms in Italy that have a hose and nozzle just like this near the toilet so you can rinse.

[-] lowered_lifted@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

it's elite as fuck tbh compared to unwashed American buttholes

[-] omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

If people don't know already, bidets are fairly cheap and easy to setup. And they will pay for themselves quickly by not having to use nearly as much, or any, toilet paper. I highly recommend. We installed them on both of our bathrooms and it is such a quality of life improvement

[-] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 7 points 3 days ago

I bought a cheap $30 bidet during the pandemic. It was an awful experience. Told everyone how overrated bidets were.

Then last year, I decided to try again, but this was a top shelf fancy $300 bidet. My god, it was like night and day. My butthole never felt so pristine.

If you hate bidets, look at the more higher end ones.

[-] ace_of_based@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago

By the by, pristine is commonly used to mean "perfect spotless/like new/cherry" but actually means more like untouched/never cleaned/left alone/original state.

This fact brought to you by my ADHD! Byeeeeeeee!

[-] devfuuu@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

The hero we needed.

[-] Ephera@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 days ago

Hmm, personally I'm using a $20 manually operated travel bidet and my butthole feels like freshly showered.

I guess, the advantage of it being manually operated is that I can decide the water pressure by how strongly I squeeze the bottle.
Another advantage is that I have a firm handshake now. 🙃

[-] grue@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

I bought a cheap $30 bidet during the pandemic.

Same, but I'm actually pretty happy with mine. 🤷

[-] BallShapedMan@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

A pain in the ass, on use.

[-] altphoto@lemmy.today 2 points 2 days ago

Followed instructions, now I speak in water.

[-] atro_city@fedia.io 4 points 3 days ago

Spray that cooch!

[-] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

You can buy a shattaf (bidet sprayer) for like $20.

[-] Slovene@feddit.nl 4 points 2 days ago

Shattaf uck up.

[-] fubarx@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Auto shutoff when you fall off.

Solid design.

this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
540 points (100.0% liked)

Funny

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