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Clean butt (lemmy.ml)
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[-] Omgboom@lemmy.zip 44 points 1 month ago

Bidets are amazing. If you don't have one you should go buy one, they start fairly low priced

[-] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 17 points 4 weeks ago

Paid $50 for mine like 7 years ago. Is it fancy? Heck no. Does it clean my butt real good? Heck yes.

When I can afford a fancy heated, air drying bidet that will be my goalpost of success.

[-] Botzo@lemmy.world 12 points 4 weeks ago

I started with a $30 cheapo 10 years ago and it was life changing. Last year I got a stupid expensive one. Like, has a night light, auto flush (because I got the matching toilet), auto lid, heated seat, heated water, deodorizer, wireless remote, etc. (Toto S7A)

Just so you're prepared, the air dry doesn't fully replace the pat dry entirely unless you're gonna sit there for a good long time.

That said, I have no regrets.

[-] Omgboom@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 weeks ago

Just so you're prepared, the air dry doesn't fully replace the pat dry entirely unless you're gonna sit there for a good long time.

I just shake my ass off like a dog coming in out of the rain

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[-] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 month ago

Why is my ass always itching?

Because you don't wash it, you dumbass.

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[-] Doctor_Satan@lemm.ee 21 points 4 weeks ago

"Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You'd wash it. So why is your butthole any different?" - Detective Allen Gamble, 'The Other Guys'

[-] uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 6 points 4 weeks ago

My butthole is very different from my face and I hope that is true for everyone else as well

[-] StJohnMcCrae@slrpnk.net 12 points 4 weeks ago

Different enough that you don't mind having shit smeared all around it?

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[-] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago

Lip skin is the same as butthole skin

Be kind

Bidet and wipe

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[-] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 18 points 4 weeks ago

I got onboard the bidet train during the Covid lockdown. Simple to add on at my apartment. It was my #1 request when I moved to my GF's house. We replaced the whole toilet with the upgrades.

[-] GladiusB@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

Yup. Same. Feels way better. It's just like taking a shower after every dump.

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[-] 60d@lemmy.ca 17 points 4 weeks ago

An actual shit post lol

[-] Teppichbrand@feddit.org 12 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

I got something like this for like 15 euros from a German shop but I'm sure you'll find it everywhere. I payed a little extra for stainless-steel instead of plastic. It's still incredibly cheap and my family uses it daily for years. I don't need any more luxury.

[-] kameecoding@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

I think this is better than whats mounted into the toilet, because well sooner or later you get one of those days when shit flies everywhere and then enjoy cleaning the nozzle, meanwhile these things are usually just attached to the side of the toilet pr to the wall and no danger of it getting shit on barring extreme circumstances

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[-] 7toed@midwest.social 12 points 4 weeks ago

Reading this on a toilet without a bidet :(

Please send your prayers

[-] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 weeks ago

Thought and prayers 🙏

[-] Elkot@lemmy.world 12 points 4 weeks ago

Had my first experience of a bidet in Japan but not just that, the toilet seat was heated too, that was my first dump after landing

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[-] B4kst33n@lemmy.world 11 points 4 weeks ago

So, maybe I'm missing something here, but bidets don't seem all that great? Everyone on the internet is always proclaiming life changing experiences with these things. However, when I recently used them they don't seem to do very much. My butthole is still poopy and when I wipe to dry my ass the toilet paper tears.

[-] swampdownloader@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 4 weeks ago

Some are better than others in both power and nozzle angle/placement. Sometimes you have to shimmy to get the angle just right if the power is low. It should result in a wipe in which no fecal matter remains, only wetness, if executed properly.

[-] bluewing@lemm.ee 6 points 4 weeks ago

You need to use the power washer setting. Takes the paint right off the wall.....

Low water pressure maybe? Mines a real cheap one and I've never had issues with not being clean after. I do usually get stronger toilet paper, but I only use a roll or two a month. I wouldn't say it's life changing, but I do prefer it. Also has saved me a lot on tp

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[-] frezik@midwest.social 9 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

I like the bidet's we have at home, but I don't get the ones that are separate from the toilet. Saw this type when visiting San Juan, PR once. Their plumbing system can't handle toilet paper very well, so it's all bidets with a stack of washed towels.

Not only do they take up extra space in the bathroom, but are you supposed to waddle over to this thing with a dingleberry hanging out? I don't get why you'd want that.

The one argument I've heard in their favor is from people with vaginas who don't like the idea of the built-in sprayer catching bits of poop that'll get in their cootch.

[-] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

My friend has one of those Japanese ones. It also has a warmed toilet seat. When I came out, I said that seat is amazing and they said people never come out of there. I proposed that they were napping on the seat. Why do seat warmers feel so good? The thing is, I could never figure out how to make the actual bidet part work. I suspect the people who took a long time were also trying to test it out, but didn't know how. Or maybe they did and enjoyed it?

[-] 9point6@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Japanese toilets are so far beyond what we're doing anywhere else in the world it's not even funny

Wtaf have our toilet scientists been doing for the last century in the western world?

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[-] DJDarren@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It’s as easy as using ~~two~~ three shells.

[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

What's the third one for

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[-] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 weeks ago

Mom, dad, I’m gay. Also that heated toilet seat is amazing.

[-] MyDogLovesMe@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I’ve brought bidets awesomeness in groups before.

It is immediately apparent who is “in the club” and who is not.

[-] recently_Coco 6 points 1 month ago
[-] wanderwisley@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago

Remember you don’t have to clean your whole ass. You just have to clean your ass’s hole.

[-] voodooattack@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I wash my bum with liquid soap and my ass smells like strawberries all day. Hell yeah bidets

[-] Kolonel_Kahlua@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

24/7, Orchard fresh, my dude. I've OPTIONS.

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[-] benignintervention@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago
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[-] papalonian@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

I was literally getting my ass sprayed when I opened this meme.

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this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
833 points (100.0% liked)

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