I don't have an answer to this, I just want you to know that feels so real. That would be so nice.
Look at you: Mr/Mrs moneybags. Hire a personal assistant. Either that or get therapy.
I wish! The latter unfortunately hasn't cut it so far so I'm looking to get myself into situations where someone does the former for me as an inherent part of that situation (hence for free).
If the therapist doesn't cut it you best cut the therapist. Make sure it's not you who is preventing the therapy from being successful, though.
Would you do this for someone else for free?
I am asking you this because I have no idea why anyone would want to do this for free for anyone, let alone you (no offense and apologies if I'm sounding abrasive).
Also, how in the fuck is therapy not cutting it for you? Please elaborate!
Yeah I second the other answer about a personal assistant in conjunction with therapy
Totally understand the desire. I defintely do better when I'm in a situation where I can just deal with stuff in front of me, and someone else takes care of the long term stuff and keeps me accountable. Not sure about jobs, the army comes to mind but has some major downsides. But there's other similar gigs like the merchant navy and offshore workers, where you're living and working in a structured environment and then get a long breaks to chill out.
What worked for me was getting a partner who is organised and creates structure. Sometimes I think I miss my freedom and wish I was back being a bachelor... But then I have a few days in the house alone, getting nothing done as the mess builds up around me and not even playing games or anything fun, just failing to live... Then I remember why I traded my independence.
This reads very much like the only reason you have a partner is because they clean up after you. Or like the only thing keeping you from leaving them is the fact that they are a maid.
I don't think they even mentioned cleaning in the comment. They mentioned "long-term stuff," "organization," and "creating structure," which I would think of as scheduling, shopping/task lists, birthdays/anniversaries, confirming appointments, checking in to make sure tasks are done, reminders, etc.
Thanks! It's defintely more stuff like long term stuff, helping me schedule stuff or make appointments, reminding me to stop avoiding opening my mail, etc. And there's lots of stuff I help then with, their blindspots and weaknesses.
That's what I think makes a good relationship - being with someone with complementary skills, who you trust, who wants the best for you, and who it's a pleasure to help not just because you love them, but because what they find impossible is easy for you (and vice versa).
Exactly. I've been with my wife for nearly 9 years in a partnership where we both try to leverage our strengths, and we have a similar setup, so I wanted to go to bat for the both of us, so to speak.
I'm sick and tired of people assuming I don't carry my weight just because I need reminders about certain things and help with appointments. Let's be real and admit that ADHD is a disability that prevents you from doing (some) stuff.
I don't just "let her clean up after me" and neither do you, it's annoying to me that you specifically didn't mention cleaning and they got on their high horse anyway.
Hah ! No, quite the opposite. I do almost all the cooking and cleaning, because I like making my partner happy. But I can't find the motivation to do it for myself. When I was single, I would invite friends over for food as often as I could, because I love cooking, and I'd make exciting and challenging things that we'd all enjoy. But if it's just me I spend a few hours being indicisive and then just eat so much toast I feel sick and feel sad.
The structure my partner provides is someone who expects meals to be at meal times, and will judge me if I just start eating a family sized pack of snacks at 3pm because I'm peckish. Or will be disappointed if I promise to do something then just scroll my phone instead. At the time it annoys me not being free to indulge myself, but when I actually get the chance I realise how little I enjoy it. It's been really helpful to realise that just because I hate structure and rules and people's expectations... I hate the goblin I become without them much more.
Haha, good point, a partner can fill the hole too and doesn't limit you to a specific job. This actually worked really well for me when I was trying to start a business with my friend and he took care of the organisational/searching activities while I could focus on the technical side. I've considered joining the army and I might actually give it a go a bit later on in life.
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