I had a teacher during sex ed start yelling about how you gotta work on and please your lady not a “wham bam thank you ma’am”, his words. Now not in 7th grade sex ed it wouldn’t have been so weird. Same teacher had a diabetic fit and started yelling and writing E over and over while grading our tests.

I wrote a paper on the origin of the y chromesome in biology class in college and the professor docked me points with the note written in the margins "I don't think humans and papayas have a common ancestor."

I had a teacher who claimed that dinosaurs weren't real. She said that people just naturally love patterns so when we find random bones we arrange them into shapes we like. Someone in the class said what about skulls that are just one bone and she ignored it lol.

That was many years ago and it's still stuck in my memory as one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

I remember in High School where we were pressured into having to choose a political party for our US Government class.

Yeah I thought the 2-party system was stupid then too and absolutely refused to pick a side. It was clear to me then, even as a teen, that people’s opinions change over time as they themselves change. Party loyalty is bullshit.

History teacher told us that NASA found alien machines on the dark side of the moon.

Midway through his speech he fell asleep in his seated walker, woke up shortly after and then the been rang.

He was neither physically nor mentally fit to be a teacher.

college instructor for Communication 101 went on several unprompted rants about how depression wasn't real because it couldn't be detected with brain scans

even though it, uh, absolutely can? also nobody asked you anyway dude???

Had a history teacher insiste that people can't live without clothes on. As in, you actually fucking due quickly after getting naked.

To be "fair" I think that it was more a case of her being mad that I corrected her "pyramid of needs" than her defending her actual opinion.

A middle school teacher asked for an analogy about something, I don’t remember what specifically, but I raised my hand and excitedly said “Oh! Like how math can help you understand music and music can help you understand math?”

The teacher looked at me like I was a total fool and said “music has absolutely nothing to do with math, how could you possibly think that?”

Since I was a snarky little punk, and I knew I was right, I said “have you heard about the circle of fifths? Let me tell you about it” and I proceeded to explain the mathematical beauty of music to the entire class. I even had sheet music in my bag from my piano lessons, so I pulled it out and showed it to everyone to explain the bars, tempo, and time signature, all of which are based on mathematical principles.

She was not happy to be proven wrong in front of a class of fifth graders.

8th grade Earth Science teacher. I shared a fun little factoid I had just learned: if you’re standing on the North Pole, every direction is south.

She disagreed and spent like 20 minutes explaining why that was wrong. I didn’t understand most of what she was trying to convey, but I do remember hearing “you can go north but in a southerly direction.”

Not my story but from my boyfriend. In English class they were supposed to write a review about a movie. He wrote a negative one about The Last Airbender from M. Night Shyamalan. First she argued that "iceberg" is not an english word (this took place in Germany) and that he should instead use "icy mountain" they had to look it up in a dictionary to convince her otherwise and then she took points away because "why would you write a review about something and not recommend it".

Not a teacher, per se, but the senior dev on my old team once said something that left me scratching my head. We were trying to troubleshoot an inconsistent bug in our software, and I said, "Maybe it's a race condition," to which he replied, "There's no such thing."

Still trying to figure out what he meant by that.

I forget if it was on the day or day after, but while the events of 9/11 were unfolding or coming to light I had a social studies teacher claim the plane that crashed in the field was an attack on our agriculture.

I have 2 of the same teacher. She was an elderly history teacher and I wished I could say a good one.

1. She wants to watch a Columbus movie after the exams. We were pretty hyped because watching movies is chill. The movie starts and something graphical happened, she immediately skipped a couple minutes. If you have any understanding of the history of Columbus, you can see how this ends... The next graphical scenes come and go in a quick skip. At one point, Columbus was in America, Columbus did Columbus things and she skipped so far forward that he was back in Spain. And in the end, we "watched" a 2 hrs movie in 30/40 minutes. She asked how we finished the movie so quickly. I know what happened in the movie because I know history but I don't know the movie at all.

2. It is summer. No Aircon. Big glass windows. In lunch break, people leave to buy 1,5 liter bottles of water for insanely cheap. Everyone! Has! These! Bottles! Everyone is drinking their water in the lunch break. Class starts. Everyone is paying attention and is working. Someone asks "hey, could I go to the toilet, please?". Teacher allows them. Everyone else is reminded that toilets exist and how much water they have drunk. A bunch of people ask one by one if they could go to the toilet and the teacher allows it one by one. At some point, literally everyone who had to visit the toilet but 1 person went to the toilet, and she exclaims "stop asking! Just go when no one is already on the toilet!". The student gets up immediately and walks to the door and before they had the chance of opening the door. She screams "what are you doing?!!??" They respond "I want to go to the toilet." And she screams "don't you know that you have to ask!???". We were very confused.

Our physics teacher and our chemistry teacher had an ongoing civil riff on whether or not electrons exist.

We'd hear one side of the argument in Chemistry and then parrot it to him in Physics, and he'd give us a rebuttal and we'd parrot it back to her in Chemistry. This went on for about two weeks.

Looking back on it, I'm pretty sure they discussed it in the staff room beforehand, but at the time it felt like a real smackdown.

That all women should be in the kitchen and all black people should be slaves again.

Was a very interesting English class from a black woman...

I told my students to go flux themselves today

Had a substitute teacher once who thought that the word Hell was a bad word even when referring to the location.

6th grade health teacher told the class that studies show evidence of increased breast cancer risk for those that have had an abortion. This was in a suburban Illinois school.

"No girl should get to the sixth form without having learned Latin "

Fuck you, Mrs Entwhistle.

conspiracy theories involving aliens creating mankind, basically Ancient Aliens lore unironically like one in three lectures was talk about the process and how we must vibrate into some higher realm

Biomedical engineering professor teaching an entire course on how DNA in its natural state is not actually a double helix and that Watson and Crick were wrong. The guy spent decades of his career after getting tenure pushing this crusade of his. It was a great class and I loved it.

Sixth grade English teacher telling me that simultaneous doesn't mean "at the same time."