9
"About once a year?"
And it sounds like right now you're just out of the tail end of one of these once-per-year episodes?
If this isn't already on your radar, I strongly suggest trying out a SAD (seasonal affective disorder) lamp.
I'm (pretty certain I'm) not autistic. And it's possible the (arguably) somewhat similar episode I've had over the recent yule season was less severe than what you're describing.
But I think I can at least somewhat relate. And I think a big part of what contributed to that problem for me was just not getting enough light in my eyeballs, particularly in the morning.
My technique (when I finally figured out SAD was a big part of my problem) was to put my SAD lamp right next to my bed pointing right at my head and turn it on when I first wake up in the morning and then go back to sleep with the light shining in my eyes.
Even if your issue is 100% SAD (and it sounds like that probably isn't the case if you have "suspected schizophrenia") a SAD lamp may not be enough. It couldn't hurt to preemptively start regular appointments with a therapist starting in like... October or something every year anticipating a difficult season. Your GP might have some options for you as well.
Good luck. That kind of shit sucks.
this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2025
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