I had morphine at the hospital once. It was like a blanket woven with fibers made of love, calmness, and warmth. I would love to feel that again, but not a good idea. I can easily understand how someone can get addicted to opiates.

Hearing "Highway to the Danger Zone" at a piano bar. It was request night for tips, where the requests were ordered by how much the tip was.

Most of the tips were $1 to $3. I laid down Highway with $5, mostly as a joke.

What I got was a panio cover made up on the spot, and it was the best version of the song I ever heard. Will likely never hear it like that again.

I'd like to be able to raise my children again. I think I could do better.

Looking out over unbroken old-growth tropical rainforest as far as the eye could see. It was beautiful and gave me hope for our slowly dying world.

Flying with my father. Flying was his passion and I only ever got to ride with him once. Sadly, he passed several years ago and I'll never get to go up with him again.

Childhood

playing portal 1/2 and celeste for the first time were amazing, obviously still great games but nothing beats your first playthrough

Fresh new set of teeth.

Kimberley M., 1998

Touching a woman's breast consensually.

Losing consciousness. I went to get by blood drawn for the doctor and for some reason I got nervous or something, and I lost consciousness for just a minute or two.

I woke up as if I had just slept for 30 hours, more rested than I've ever been, no matter how long I sleep.

Appalachian Trail for sure, I only did a couple sections but I am absolutely going again if I can. One day I'd like to actually do the whole thing but I just don't have the time.

Sleep paralysis. It was an amazing experience for me.

There's a camaraderie with the other soldiers on your platoon that happens when you're in the military that I've never been able to feel with any other group of people since I got out. I would really like to be able to experience that again, but minus the war part.

I wanna smoke weed again. I did it one time in school when I got hold of a dealer. Didn't do it again, dunno why. Now I don't know any dealers.

Realistic hope

Graduate school. Well, my first round of it.

During the course of my first graduate degree, I was surrounded by support, great professors, a cohort of other students who were driven, passionate, and colorful, even though we disagreed on several things (and one of them was an actual shitheel), and most importantly of all, a sense that I was learning, growing, and progressing along some kind of meaningful continuum of personal development... As well as being equipped to make some kind of difference in the world, as much of one as I made for myself (went from an uneducated, bigoted farm kid, someone who was already neck deep in neo Nazi stuff and bought into it into, well, pretty much the opposite).

I took that master's degree and went professional for a few years, but found myself missing graduate school and so I went back for a second Masters. That just wrapped up last September, but the experience wasn't the same at all.

I felt like I was just being pushed through machinery, going down a checklist, ticking boxes and moving on to the next. I kept thinking that eventually as I went through the motions I would find that an experience similar to the first round of graduate school would develop organically, but it never did. Once I finished the degree, that was kind of it. Have to put up my hands and say that this could well be just because I was really going through a hard time in my life concurrent to that second master's degree, and that very likely colored my experience quite a bit, but it did just wrap up last year, so I will need some time and distance to be able to reflect on it more objectively and untangle the raw emotional impression from the objective fact.

I'm still wanting to go and get a PhD as an ultimate feather in my cap, but that will not be for a few years. For now, I need some time to work professionally to both save up money and meet some other personal life goals of mine, which I won't get into too much detail about here.

Skydiving, went for a wealthy friend's birthday and found it to be the most exhilerating experience.

Happiness?

Idk I just cant feel it anymore, especially not after that monday nazi salute, I'm about to die (by the hands of the government)

To be content. At least i got to experience it once.

content adjective in a state of peaceful happiness.

I know it's silly, but a bj from one of my exes. It was so good and I've been a bit touch deprived lately.

Watching Arcane.

True love. I was with my soulmate and she left me. My heart never healed and it's been over 4 years.

Europe and Australia. Only been to each once, but I loved both of them.