Here a joke my english teacher always told us:
What says a Saxon in New York when he wants a Christmas tree? .
A tännchen, please.
The saxon "a tännchen" sounds in english like: attention
I gonna explain the the joke in the picture.
The German joke is "Treffen sich zwei Jäger, beide Tot."
THW important word is "treffen". It can mean "meet" and "hit"(with a weapon). depending on the context
Ty, I figured there had to be a double entendre in there.
Oh I thought it was a Dick Cheney joke, I guess that's the American version though. It actually made perfect sense to me even without the double meaning.
That's sadly the funniest German joke I've ever heard, I mean the punchline is there, but the set-up isn't, meaning it's closer to what I recognize as a joke than most Germanic Humor.
Edit: Nope, funnier German jokes are in this comment chain, I'm in a good mood today
One translated from Norwegian:
"Once upon a time... But now it's a corridor"
I'll supply the original and an explanation:
"Det var en gang... Men nå er det en korridor"
"Det var en gang" is literally "It was a time/an instance", and it's the main way every fairytale starts in Norwegian. But "gang" could also mean hallway.
"Det var en gang" is better translated as "Once upon a time".
They showed that with their first translation. The second, more literal, translation is to explain the pun.
I used to work with a couple Czech dudes. One day my coworkers and I were badgering the one dude to tell us a Czech joke. He was pretty reluctant because he said he could only really think of one joke but wasn't sure it would translate well. When he finally told us the joke he got us with this masterpiece.
Two balloons are floating along, one says to the other and hey look a cactus.
All of us were confused by this, he told us it was much funnier in Czech because balloon and cactus sound similar so it's a pun. So we had him tell us the joke untranslated in Czech and balloon and cactus sound nothing alike.
I'm still not sure if this dude was fucking with us.
It's a silly joke for little kids of preschool age and it only makes sense if you include the right sound effects. It's supposed to go like this: Two balloons are floating along, one says to the other: - Hey look a cactussssssssssss! - Where isssssssssss it?
One that works in English:
A superconductor came to a bar and ordered a beer. The barman said - I'm not giving you a beer! Get the fuck out of my bar! The superconductor left without any resistance.
An argon atom walks into a bar. The barman says: "We don't serve your kind here. get out". The argon atom doesn't react.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks: "How much for a beer?" The barman says: "For you, no charge".
Oh hey the German version of this joke is also one that doesn't translate! "A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender says: Sorry, only invited guests." In German, "geladen" means both "invited" and "charged".
A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender asks what it wants to drink.
"Oh, nothing, I'm just passing through."
An ion walks into a bar.
"Barman, barman, I lost an electron here last night" "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!"
Okay that's actually really funny
the fact that you don't know if he's fucking around makes it even funnier lmao
Another one from Saxony.
A man drives his car to the junkyard, looking for replacement parts. He greets the owner and asks:
"Windshield wiper for a Trabant?"
The junkyard owner thinks for a moment, then replies:
"Sure, sounds like a fair exchange."
The Wikipedia page on East German jokes has a few Trabant jokes.
What's the best feature of a Trabant? – There's a heater at the back to keep your hands warm when you're pushing it.
A new Trabi has been launched with two exhaust pipes – so you can use it as a wheelbarrow.
How do you double the value of a Trabant? – Fill it with gas.
The back page of the Trabant manual contains the local bus schedule.
Four men were seen carrying a Trabant. Somebody asks them why? Was it broken? They reply: "No, nothing wrong with it, we’re just in a hurry."
How do you catch a Trabi? – Place a piece of chewing gum on the road.
Aha!
In case people are wondering: it's indeed a german joke.
It's a pun. "meet" and "hit" are using the same word in german
That joke used to work in English.
By c. 1300, of things, "to come into physical contact with, join by touching or uniting with;" also, of persons, "come together by approaching from the opposite direction; come into collision with, combat."
https://www.etymonline.com/word/meet
It still can mean collision or fight, but the context needs to be very clear. Two armies meeting on the battlefield, for example. Or two hunters met in combat.
Translated Hungarian joke:
The Székely and his son go into the forest to cut trees. When cutting a tree, the son says:
"Goodbye, my beloved father."
"Why are you saying a farewell to me?", asks the Székely.
"Because the tree is falling on you."
What's the joke? Are there slow falling trees in Hungary?
This reply made me laugh more than that joke ever did.
One of my favorite Filipino jokes:
Why didn't the priest go swimming in the ocean? Because it's salt water.
"Salt water" in Tagalog can be translated as "tubig asin," which sounds like the English "too big a sin." Many Filipino jokes rely on Tagalog and English like that.
Here's another (putting original Tagalog because it's kind of relevant):
May joke ako tungkol sa airport kaso NAIA ako eh hehe.
English:
I have a joke about the airport, but I am NAIA (Ninoy Aquino International Airport) hehe.
NAIA sounds like "nahiya," which means "shy," so it would sort of translate to "... but I was shy."
We have some like that in England, for example a Frenchman only ever carries one egg because an egg is un oeuf
What?
WE HAVE SOME LIKE THAT IN ENGLAND, FOR EXAMPLE A FRENCHMAN ONLY EVER CARRIES ONE EGG BECAUSE AN EGG IS UN OEUF
Oeuf is French for egg. "Un oeuf" sounds like "enough"
Tubig asin, hahaha, god I wish I were bilingual
It's a bit like the shortest joke: A woman comes at the doctor....
Or in German: Kommt 'ne Frau beim Arzt...
This one works well in German and English, but I assume it's untranslatable in many other languages.
Stupid question
Does it play on the double meaning of "come" being "to arrive" and "to orgasm"?
That. And the fact that doctor jokes have a well known scheme that's broken here, as you'd normally expect the joke to continue after the sentence.
A woman comes to the doctor and asks "Can I take a bath with my diarrhea?" The doctor answers: "Sure, if it's enough to fill the tub."
Thanks 👍
Exactly
To explain the joke, as is tradition in Germany. "To meet" translates to "treffen" in German. Which can also mean "to hit something or somebody".
Once had a multicultural family gathering where we translated the same joke into several languages.
A man knocks at a door. A woman opens and he says: "Hello, my name is Toulouse. I'm here to fuck your daughter." The woman screams: "To what?!?" He answers calmly: "Toulouse."
„Hallo, mein~~meine~~ Name ist Umberto und ich bin hier um Ihre Tochter zu ficken“
„UM WAS???“
„Umberto.“
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