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submitted 2 months ago by yukichigai@lemmy.sdf.org to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 51 points 2 months ago

Uncut, center out from the bottom.

Or

Roll into a cone, bite out the center from the bottom, suck the toppings and sauce through the bottom like a waffle cone, discard the crust.

[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

Dammit. Now I gotta do this to fuck with my kid

[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

It's good to build distrust and topics of discussion for therapy as early as possible.

[-] Know_not_Scotty_does@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Nah, roll it into a cone with the topings on the outside and try to suck the crust though the topings.

[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Please do that in the line to vote, so people feel more confident in how competent the electorate is.

[-] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 35 points 2 months ago
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[-] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 32 points 2 months ago

This awful video I saw where someone put pizza in a blender and turned it into a casserole

[-] yukichigai@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 2 months ago
[-] Catoblepas 5 points 2 months ago

I refuse to believe that was anything other than rage bait, like every Chef Club video.

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[-] beercupcake@sopuli.xyz 29 points 2 months ago

By licking off the topping and sauce. The base gets reused for new pizza.

[-] Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Blocked and reported for putting that disgusting image in my head! Ok jk but I think you win the thread

[-] phanto@lemmy.ca 28 points 2 months ago

Eat the crust, leave the rest.

[-] Zorsith 25 points 2 months ago

Spiral sliced and slurped as one giant noodle.

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[-] tymon@lemm.ee 24 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

slapping your face into the middle of the pie and sucking like a dyson

[-] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 10 points 2 months ago

sucking like a Dyson

What, immediately block up, stop working then lots of bits just randomly break off you?

[-] pauldrye@lemm.ee 21 points 2 months ago

Turned into a slurry and then administered as an enema.

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[-] cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 months ago

knife + fork + stacked slices, as Donald Trump was called out for on The Daily Show 17 years agoscreenshot of youtube video of a 2008 episode of the daily show, showing donald trump eating a stack of two slices of NY pizza using a knife and fork. jon stewart looks dismayed, and there is a subtitle saying "Mother f... and you stack your slices, Donald?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4Aa6ncIk70

[-] Nemo@slrpnk.net 18 points 2 months ago

rolling it up starting from the crust like it was a croissant and then taking a bite, not from the end, but from the side

OR

not cut into slices, you tear out the center and slip your head through so it sits around your collar, then lift it to take bites periodically like a candy necklace

[-] Sequentialsilence@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

With a spoon

Close second would be chopsticks.

Close second would be chopsticks.

My brother eats pizza with chopsticks

(For context: my family was all born in China)

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[-] juliebean@lemm.ee 15 points 2 months ago

take a bit from the outer perimeter, rotate the zza slightly, then take another bite. repeat until you've spiral-noshed the whole thing

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[-] superkret@feddit.org 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

You take it out of the oven, cut a slice as fast as you can and immediately bite down on it, holding it in your mouth until the cheese has completely fused with the roof of your mouth.

[-] brandon@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

Blending and drinking through a straw

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[-] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 12 points 2 months ago

Gonna need somewhat of a custom pizza shape for this to work without arousing suspicion. Put the pizza between the toilet rim and the seat. If it sags a bit that's fine, the seat should hold it in place. Print out a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl and place it on top of the pizza. Close the lid.

After a few days, invite the crew over for beers. Rig the bathroom light so that it's very dim. "Sorry, been having issues with it, not sure what the problem is." Eventually someone is going to notice the ruse. When they do, "Oh shit, my pizza! I was wondering where that went." Bring it back into the kitchen and offer everyone a slice. They will refuse. "More for me then!" Eat the whole thing.

Instant legend.

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[-] CMDR_Horn@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Folded over so the cheese is on the outside then held with ham fists.

Better yet, Chicago style, but folded over so the sauce is on the outside and then eaten no hands like a pie contest

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[-] orb360@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 months ago
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[-] pscamodio@feddit.it 7 points 2 months ago
[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

ITT: there is evil in all of us.

[-] tiefling 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Fold it in half (sauce outl, then eat it from the middle out

Or with a fork and knife

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[-] Azzu@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago

There is no worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza. The way someone eats something is irrelevant. There is no good or bad here.

[-] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

You must have missed the person that said blended up and enema'd

[-] Azzu@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago
[-] AdamEatsAss@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

I personally love a good deep dish extra cheese anchovy red pepper sausage enema.

[-] natecox@programming.dev 6 points 2 months ago

What a surprise: AdamEatsAss likes enemas. ๐Ÿซก

[-] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 months ago

The worst way to eat a pizza is to not eat a pizza. So uh, maybe taking many pizzas, making a bath out of them and expecting to take in the nutrients through your skin?

[-] Azzu@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago

That'd be the only answer I'd accept ๐Ÿ˜†

Not eating the pizza is indeed incorrect when the goal is to eat the pizza.

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[-] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Fresh outta the freezer

[-] Anissem@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 months ago

Soak it in wine and boof it

[-] __nobodynowhere@startrek.website 5 points 2 months ago

Eat it in reverse so it is expelled from the mouth after the journey though the body

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 months ago
  1. Place the plastic table on your nose
  2. Remove the crust and lick it like a rabbi at a circumcision
  3. Roll pieces 1,3,5 from tip to girth and arrange them into an F shape
  4. Roll pieces 2,4,6 from girth to tip and arrange them into a U shape.
  5. Thank the pizza guy who is holding the box still, and then slam the door in his face.
  6. Continue licking the crust you hid in your pocket, and then dial for another pizza
[-] Taewyth@jlai.lu 5 points 2 months ago

My partner picks it up from underneath the slice and starts by eating the crust. To this day I'm still baffled by it.

[-] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago

The crust is a breadstick treat you get for finishing your slice

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[-] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago
[-] Natanael@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 months ago

Upside down

[-] weew@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 months ago
[-] xelar@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

When we used to order pizza in middle school, kids would fold the slices one on top of the other and eat them like a big sandwich. That was the most popular way to avoid questions about whether they would share it with others. Not to mention, most people snuck to the toilet for feasting.

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[-] ReCursing@lemmings.world 4 points 2 months ago

Inject it straight into a vein

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this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
92 points (100.0% liked)

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