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[-] TootSweet@lemmy.world 41 points 6 days ago

Challenges in 2034:

  • Survive infancy with no medical care except the LLM your assigned insurance conglomerate provides. (Which is only able to prescribe Ozempic and anxiolytics.
  • Hack the pre-installed digitized Elon Musk consciousness out of your mandatory XTesLink(tm) Not-An-Enslavement-Device(tm) brain implant without letting him find out beforehand lest he trigger the built-in "re-education" module.
  • Escape the coal mine without exceeding your quota of oxygen, triggering the alarm.
  • Don't die of radiation poisoning. Or Sars-CoV-2029. Or high-velocity lead poisonin due to looking "ethnic" in the vicinity of a Paw Patrol(tm) robotic police unit.
[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

You forgot the "Not get burned at the stake as a heretic for not having at least one child by the age of 16"!

[-] KillingAndKindess 2 points 5 days ago

I feel like a lot more people would have to agree with elon, and elon to actually be capable of doing it, for your number 2. But methinks all of the ketamine, T, and trump's speed parties will kill the colonizer before that anyhow.

[-] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 16 points 6 days ago

Buy a house

More like scrape together rent.

Housing: Hide in ceiling of a store (make sure its a corporate chain, not small bussiness)

Food: Shoplift the store at night

Job: You don't need one

Profit?

(/jk but is it actually possible to hide in a store and not get noticed? 🤔)

[-] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 12 points 6 days ago

Some lady did it for a year recently.

[-] Sivecano@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 6 days ago

Don't they usually have security cameras?

[-] Alice@beehaw.org 10 points 6 days ago

Y'all were buying houses in 2014?? I thought we were well and truly fucked by that point.

[-] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 7 points 6 days ago

Throughout my life, things have always gotten worse.

I've come to the conclusion that for any major investment, the time to invest was the early 2000s, and the second best time is right now, because it's only going downhill from here.

Unless it's tech, because early tech is almost always shit compared to later versions of the same... To a limited degree. Eventually it all gets enshittified.

[-] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I mean I graduated high school in 2014 and it was absolutely challenging to find a job, buy a house, afford groceries, etc. So challenging, in fact, that I only managed one of those things. Like that's why I developed anxiety, because my brain was (rightly!) occupied with the thought that I would never be able to get a job and be independent in the contemporary economy, which was completely correct.

Things are worse now for sure but shit was bad back then too.

[-] SaltyIceteaMaker@lemmy.ml 4 points 6 days ago

pretty sure bottle flip was like 2016

this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2025
283 points (100.0% liked)

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