yea. Me and everyone in my life is being hit hard by the economic crash and its hard not to feel sad sometimes.

Kinda always

I mean

Yeah

I gotta go to my local psl because I just moved, but what if im awkward and dumb. I met them once already and they are really cool and do cool stuff unlike me who is LAME.

I had nice dreams about being around tons of people at some kind of giant tropical "a bunch of people crash landed here and now they're having a party like a liquor commercial" thing and there were people everywhere and it was great and then I woke up and obviously that is not the case. So I'm eating microwave pizza at midnight and seeing what I missed today in the wild world of shitposting. Feesbadman.jpg

Also, hey, thanks for making this post ❤️ my favorite medicine for bad feelings is finding a way to put some kindness out, so thank you for the opportunity you've created.

Yeah I just have no desire to do anything. Lyme is kicking my ass, but it's just exacerbating existing depression and anxiety. I don't really have any ambition, my enthusiasm for even the few things I semi-enjoyed has been sapped, and I really feel alienated from everyone around me. It got so bad I literally had like a derealization episode. I felt like nothing was real and I was going to blink out of existence.

I want to enjoy things and have actual friends but goddammit. It's all pretty dumb considering people out there have real problems but holy fuck, I've backed myself into a mental corner. I feel like I've crossed the event horizon in my life and I'll never escape now.

coworker opened up about some relationship issues they're having and it felt shitty to hear. "i don't want to die alone, man". i'm not gonna go into specifics cuz issa smol community out here but i personally think they can get over it if they trust each other and are open to each other's positions. but i've also been blessed with a chill relationship for so many years i feel guilty even trying to give advice.

tl;im drunk: i just want folks to be happy :(

Hey that's me

Me deciding to work in climate adaptation: "Sure, things aren't looking good but at least I can do something that makes a difference."

Me getting the requisite education: "Okay, the best time to act would have been two decades ago but there are still opportunities to avert the worst of the consequences."

Me working in climate adaptation: "Holy fuck we have zero idea of the hell we are unleashing upon ourselves."

Honestly hexbear is the best place I've found to commiserate because at least people are willing to acknowledge the existence and scope of the problem, but even here I try to keep the extent of my bleakness under some wraps because I don't want to be that guy (even though I'd imagine I'm 90% that guy). And I've shouldered just a small fraction of the burden climate scientists must be feeling. If you see one, give 'em a hug because they probably need it. We're in for a rough future and the ones who had the power to prevent it but chose not to are going to die safe and comfortable in their beds and that is a damn shame.

Still feeling like I should've just become a musician or a hermit pottery gnome or something.

Sup motherfuckers?

good ebening

I'm getting established with a new medical provider for the 5th time since getting diagnosed with ADHD in January, and I'm once again between prescriptions, and watching the way it wrecks every aspect of my life hasn't been fun.

I have so much less patience for everyone and everything because my fucking head is full of bees. My emotional regulation is rekt, my communication skills are trash, and it is taking a toll on every aspect of my life and every relationship.

I forgot a major bill less than 48 hours after my husband reminding me of it, and it overdrafted our account. When sorting that out, I discovered another one I had forgotten that thankfully wasn't on autopay, so no overdraft fee there, just a late fee.

I've been unmedicated for only two weeks as of tomorrow. I can't nag these people to help me - I am terrified of being labeled a drug-seeker - but omfg I need my medication back.

At least I can pay the bills when I do remember them, we have a home and enough to eat, my husband is super understanding, and he's not going to fire me from our home business haha so... It could be worse. It could always be worse.

Just really hate my unmedicated self. She has repeatedly ruined my whole life and I don't want her to do it again.

Going to suggest couples counseling

I've fallen so far behind on my thesis that I can't muster up energy to work on it and when I do I just keep thinking "this is such bullshit, my whole idea is bad, why did I choose this path?" So yeah.

Cat died last week. She was always there for me and now it feels like my home is empty. I've had her for most of my life and I dont really know or feel the same about anything.

I'm sad because I feel too fat for my own comfort and I've only just recovered the stage of recovering from the mental damage the very long threat of homelessness did to me. I also.don't have my medicine yet so walking hurts. My doc visit is at the end of the month and idk if they'll prescribe me what I need. I'm tired. And sad. I just want to feel comfortable in my flesh, pain free.

Are they not heartbroken? How could they have moved on?