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[-] jeena@piefed.jeena.net 79 points 6 months ago

I was a altar boy in my teens. One time in winter we had to attend a funeral. First we were in church, so I put on the white rope stuff during the mass. But then we had to go out to the graveyard for like half an hour more and stand there in the cold.

I told the priest that I would just quickly put on the jacket underneath because it was freezing outside. But he forbid in and said I should have thought of it before the mass and had it on under the ropes in church all the time because now there is no time for that. He forced us out without jackets into the freezing cold.

Right there I started thinking what kind of a priest do we have who cares more about dead people and make it convenient for them instead of the living. And if the priest represents god here in our community because he talks to him and can forgive our sins in his name and so on, then this is also gods will. So what king of a God am I worshiping here?

Anyway, I think that was the start of me stopping believing in God. I stopped being an altar boy, later stopped going to church and started actively researching those deeper questions around organized religion and god. Over time it led me to became an atheist who hasn't seen any evidence for existence of any god.

[-] adarza@lemmy.ca 56 points 6 months ago

I was a altar boy in my teens.

i was expecting this to turn a different direction.

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[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 30 points 6 months ago

Once I volunteered for a nonprofit fundraiser type thing. It was early spring and cold as hell. My friends got taken to the hay rides and the fire pit and they stuck me at the highway, pointing people towards the highly visible parking area. I marched in circles and designed ten thousand signs that could do the job that I was doing. I vowed then and there to never, ever be a cog in some Boomers vanity charity event ever again.

Service clubs tend to treat volunteers like slaves and then lament that no one wants to volunteer to be their slaves.

[-] BorgDrone@lemmy.one 14 points 6 months ago

I was raised catholic and went to a catholic primary school. At one point we had a class where we would visit the local catholic church once a week and the priest would explain things about how things worked in church.

On one such occasion he pointed out a red light near the altar and said that the light indicated that god was present in church. (Apparently it’s called a ‘sanctuary light’ in English). I spent an entire week trying to figure out how this god-detector worked. I had several designs worked out in my head, like it having an unreachable switch that could only be pressed by god himself.

The next week we arrived at church a little early and I caught the priest putting a candle in it and lighting it himself. That’s when I started to realize the whole thing was one big scam.

[-] Skunk@jlai.lu 3 points 6 months ago

We had the same sanctuary light (thanks for the name) in my school chapel.

But it was made with a simple LED and resistor circuit (probably made in the school 'techno' class).

A friend and I got kicked out of catechism for removing the battery of that LED circuit.

It wasn’t a big loss anyway, I remember the teacher being all pumped up when we asked "so God is the God of all Gods?". He made us write that down, which is a totally false affirmation for a monotheistic religion (God if the only one, there are no others).

Anyway, I was happy to be kicked out of catechism 🤷🏻‍♂️

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[-] proudblond@lemmy.world 61 points 6 months ago

I was a plaintiff in a civil lawsuit against a huge company. It was so rigged. The judge had overseen the class action lawsuit that we opted out of and acted like we were ungrateful little shits. But never in front of the jury; in front of the jury, he was all perfect law and order. But when they weren’t there, he was so obviously biased. I lost basically all faith in our justice system (USA). And I only had money on the line; for someone in a criminal case, it would be sooo much worse.

[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 41 points 6 months ago

Yeah. Found myself in the system due to a misunderstanding. I was helpful and cooperative, they gave me the maximum sentence.

[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 4 points 6 months ago

This would probably be the gist of my answer as well, both as an observer as well as someone in a dispute.

I've watched my best friends fight battles one could say are incredibly unnecessary, from the guy best friend having his family torn apart by the CPS based on false accusations before they went after his mom to harass her since they couldn't successfully arrest her like they could with his dad on a false basis, to his GF (my other best friend) constantly having friends pulled away from her, to what me and my BF have gone through often (it should be noted what we consider the actual issue and what their active ingredients are has differed).

Ironically I generally don't have the negative relation with officials that these other experiences would imply I would have. I'm more accurately described as someone the people always seem to be after, not the officials in a society, albeit it might be said semantics don't do that justice until it has been paraphrased a few times. Another way it's been explained is that I incur "guerilla dissatisfaction" and that even seeming technicalities have some element of that, even when I'm being productive in its face, with their "three weapons" being denial, justification, and pretending to not understand.

On the authoritarian side of things, it has only been recently (as in an epiphany that dropped out of nowhere some weeks ago) realized that an enormous amount of what could be called covert targeted bias against some of us, especially when the individuals who the bias is in favor of have the bias in favor of them as a form of some sort of social prestige, has been or is boiled down to secretly wanting to "humble" the person the bias is against.

Example:

A superior might say out loud "you acted in self defense against a killer, but it was still assault, so I'm going to give you a bigger sentence than the person who killed your dog."

In their minds: "maybe this is the perfect tool to humble them, they never seemed humble to me and an extraordinary large sentence might serve as a good character builder, not actually given to punish them."

And people wonder why sociopathy exists.

[-] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

My country is currently doing a big anti-crime campaign and I was there for a family members trial as moral support. It became grossly clear that anti-crime just means prossecuting everyone and anyone regardless of guilt to pump up conviction numbers. The prosecution was given 6 months to prepare, the defense was given a single day; the prosecution was explicitly allowed to present evidence in any context including oppenly censored conversations, the defense wasn't even allowed to present evidence unless it was deemed relevant by the prosecution.

Totally shattered what little faith I had in my countries legal system, I always knew it was rigged in favour of the wealthy but to see just how blatantly tilted it is in favour of convictions was a big shock.

[-] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 52 points 6 months ago

My very best friend in the whole world mentioned a trans person, shook his head, and remarks that "we need a purge".

I really, truly thought that different ideologies could get along until then. With that comment, I realized that, no, I cannot get along with an ideology that believes that marginalized groups "should not exist". Because, deep down, a belief for their "non-existence" is a belief for their death. And I now refuse to have friends who believe things like that.

Civility is compliance. I kicked him out of my house, my final words to him, as he angrily screamed at me, being "bye, bitch, bye!" It hurt me so badly to lose my closest friend that day, but my life really did improve after that. Now he might actually have to pay for the therapy he so desperately needs. God knows, he won't, because he believes that "mental health excuses are just pussy shit", but considering he's howling that no one has wanted to fuck him for the last x amount of years shows that his anger and bitterness are still holding him back. He's insufferable.

Fuck any belief that punches down. Y'all deserve to exist peacefully and not be fucking bothered by dickheads about how you live your life.

[-] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 22 points 6 months ago

I recently got introduced to a new friend group with plenty of trans people. It was quite eye opening. Not that my views changed, but rather upon hearing their stories, realizing how much senseless hate there is towards them. Imagine not getting a job after a successful interview, because some asshole looking at your ID sees that your appearance doesn't match your birth assigned gender. It's one thing to be indifferent or not get queer people, it's another to actively fucking harm them!

I especially hate the project2025 rhetoric of "Economy bad" followed by "Let's spend our entire budget, murdering the queers". These people are monstrous...

[-] Free_Opinions@feddit.uk 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I have a good friend like this. He says quite extreme things like that from time to time. I don't attack him for it. Instead we talk about it. I ask him questions, share my view on the matter etc. more often than not he then walks back what he said and openly admits that he shouldn't generalize and understands that the few bad apples he has had to deal with don't represent the majority.

People change. I did too. I used to say horrible things about gay people myself too when I was younger. Then I grew up and realized I'd actually like to have some of that dick too.

Your friend on the other hand probably only holds down to those beliefs even stronger now because of how you reacted. These are the people who vote for Trump to "screw with the libs"

[-] LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 6 months ago

His friend was too far gone to start with.

[-] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 52 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

leaving my home country for the first time.

all the "immutable facts of life" are a plane ticket way from becoming weird rituals or disagreeable foreign affairs.

[-] jeena@piefed.jeena.net 22 points 6 months ago

That is a very good point, but it only works of the world is somewhat open to immigrants. I migrated 3 times in my life, starting from practically one suitcase each time. I'm very lucky to have ended up in times and countries which allowed me to stay and to contribute to their society. Sadly that seems less and less a given.

[-] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

overall, it seems to be getting easier to travel, with longer-term visas being offered and most visas offered through online applications.

there are more routes for legal permanent residency in countries as well these days, although i prefer itinerance.

I think you're talking about permanent residency, which is inherently more bother than living somewhere else or traveling full-time.

[-] jeena@piefed.jeena.net 4 points 6 months ago

Yes indeed, and it might still be OK, but the world moving to the right and the right being so against immigration I forse a future where permanent residency is not that easy anymore. Especially if you're not like me a white fairly well educated male from Europe. People like me seem to have huge privileges in many the parts of the world.

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[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 51 points 6 months ago

2016 and the yeas since, but especially the US presidential election that just happened, have absolutely destroyed my faith in the people of my country.

Always figured the govt was fucked, but that the average Joe had a shred of good in him. After the bullshit of the 2016 election, the 4 disastrous years after, and the 4 years following of nonstop Nazi rhetoric from Trump... 74 million of my neighbors decided he's the guy who represents them; and another 90 million or so decided not to lift a fucking finger to intervene.

No. Good people are a minority. I'm surrounded by hateful bigots who will go as far impairing their own quality of life if it means they can can harm others by doing so. This country and the majority of its inhabitants are evil. We deserve what's coming.

[-] AA5B@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

For sure, I grew up in a rural conservative area. I thought i knew these people. I thought they were just like me and I could understand their perspective even when I disagreed with it. But 2016 went against everything they claimed to believe in, and they just started making less and less sense, they just started getting more toxic, more hateful and spiteful , more anti-everything and everyone. No. No I can’t.

Maybe I’m falling for the echo chamber effect also, maybe I’m falling prey to those who would keep us divided and at each others throats, but I’m finding it difficult to sympathize, difficult to even want to understand them again. Difficult to give them the benefit of the doubt that they are decent people being manipulated with base emotions. No, this is them

I don't think you need 2016 for this. All you need is to be remotely awkward in grade school and this side human nature is abundantly clear.

[-] Thorry84@feddit.nl 44 points 6 months ago

Normally you need to put a coin in shopping trollies around here to take them out. When you properly return them you get the coin back. It's not a lot of money, usually 50 cents. And if you don't happen to have a coin on hand most shops will give you a key chain with a properly sized round bit of metal. It being so common, most people have one of those key chains anyways. I'd always thought it was a fine system, but people were pretty decent anyways.

Then during corona because of hygiene reasons shops could only reopen if they cleaned the trollies after every use and that meant not using the coin system. Later the cleaning part was delegated to customers using facilities from the shop and then got rid of entirely. But the coin system wasn't put back due to hygiene.

To my surprise people would just dump the trollies everywhere. They would not care one bit where they put them. Some people put them away neatly, some just shove them sort of in the right place. Others would just leave them on the parking lot or shove them aside to end up in a ditch.

As soon as possible the coin system was put back into place. Later some shops got rid of it again, because it's easier for customers. But only in select places where people are decent I guess, or the shop puts in the effort to monitor and handle the carts. You would think it'd be the crowded inner city parts where the coin system was needed. But near me in a rich part of town they use the coin system because rich folk just leave the carts in the parking lot, feeling like putting it back is beneath them or something. In a more crowded normal part of town one shop I go to doesn't use the coin system and I'm surprised every time. The carts there are always perfectly placed. Although that shop has an issue with people using the disabled parking spaces if they need to run in and out quickly, which is a terrible thing to do.

This whole experience changed my view of humanity. I used to think almost all or at least most people were decent. Trying to do the right thing, with only a few assholes spoiling stuff for the rest of us. It showed me that a tiny little coin, not really worth anything is all that stands between a functioning neat system and total chaos. And it's not just a couple of people, it's more like half of them. A lot of people are lazy and inconsiderate, caring only about themselves. If it costs them money, no matter how little, they will do what's required (because money is everything in this fucked up capitalist world). But if it doesn't cost them money, they will just do whatever and not care.

This experience, along with many other during the past 10 years have spoiled my view on humanity. I tend to assume everyone is a total asshole in some way or another, which is honestly kind of a sad way to live. So I make an active effort to give people the benefit of the doubt, but it can be hard and a lot of people shortly prove they are indeed assholes.

[-] weeeeum@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

"Assholes" imply that its malicious, when people are just very, VERY lazy. Only the "laziest", most energy conserving humans would have survived, exhibiting the least amount of energy required to sustain themselves. Since putting away a cart isn't strictly required, a lot of people just don't care. Only those who know better will.

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[-] foggenbooty@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

There's a radio guy that has a series called Cart Narcs on YouTube where he runs around patrolling shopping parking lots and shaming people into putting their carts back.

It's a guilty pleasure of mine.

[-] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 39 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

(Edit: I was caught by the grammar police, for my heinous crimes.)

I had my coming of age when going to college abroad. Oh what a time that was.

  1. Going to Amsterdam, and seeing how unconditionally nice and supportive people can be. Even if something is obviously your fault, nobody will ever give you shit for it and will actually help you.
  2. The absolutely pointless full scale war in Ukraine starting, shattering the "age of unprecedented peace" propaganda I was fed since birth. Especially once I started educating my self about all the wars that took place in this age.
  3. Visiting my American (now ex) friends. Realizing that yes, Americans really are that uneducated and spiteful. Wanting others to suffer, way more than wanting to be happy them selves. And today, the 2024 election cemented those feelings.
[-] AA5B@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

Some Americans are. Way too many Americans are. Feel free to disconnect. However not everyone is and there are like 380 million of us

[-] GrammarPolice@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

coming*

college*

And today (,) the 2024...*

[-] 9point6@lemmy.world 31 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Different people in different places.

If you never leave your hometown, you're keeping your brain in a baby crèche for the rest of your life.

It's much easier to understand how the world works if you've seen it yourself

[-] tiefling 22 points 6 months ago
[-] all-knight-party@fedia.io 18 points 6 months ago

Working in food service, or being a manager. Both gave me very strong perspective for people in those situations and it would be impossible for me to go back to who I was before I understood these circumstances.

[-] Drusas@fedia.io 17 points 6 months ago

The pandemic and seeing just how much my fellow Americans truly do not care about the lives or well-being of others.

[-] A_Filthy_Weeaboo@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Sadly this; and that most of my fellow countrymen/women/everything in between are apparently brain dead when it comes to politics, that and how pervasive conspiratorial thinking is. Not fun thought experiment conspiracies either, straight up reality denial

[-] Smoogs@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Visiting ground zero of Hiroshima and then visiting pearl harbour. Super different vibes. Note: the aftertaste of visiting pearl harbour and their attitude towards war in general felt just so wrong. Hiroshima gave a definite sense of war is very wrong, and PH was just like “we’re not done yet”. It was ick.

[-] kittenzrulz123 11 points 6 months ago

When I told my Rabbi that I'm not interested in dating or marriage he screamed at me for an hour and told me I deserve to die. From that point forward I realized that you can never make religious leaders happy, they will always take until you have nothing left to give. So I stopped giving a damn and I still don't.

[-] daddy32@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

I got older.

[-] EnderMB@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Up until quite late in my teens I often felt that I would make friends with people that had similar interests.

I started going to more rock and metal gigs, and bars that played the same music. I'd also talk to people that were into the same games as me, and engaged them in a friendly manner since, you know, we like the same stuff - we should be friends, right?

It was a shock to the ol' belief system that someone that likes the same bands you like might also be a huge cunt, or that dude that likes the same anime as you is also really fucking racist. I found all that out in one night after talking to two dudes that had a Thrice shirt and one dude that mentioned he was a huge DBZ fan. I found myself growing closer to people that didn't necessarily like the same stuff I did, and my closest friends like a varied range of music, sports, and shows. That realisation allowed me to stop changing myself for others, to stop gravitating towards people that simply like things I like, and to just be open and friendly to everyone.

this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
95 points (100.0% liked)

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