Bold of you to assume there will be courts of law.

Never ask a woman her age.

Never ask a man his salary.

Never ask an OnlyFans model what happens in Dubai.

Post an overly obsequious yelp review? Believe it or not, also jail.

This is the key, you are a slave with extra steps. Reading about the travel ban set by her employer, just because they don’t take your passport away, you can still become trapped. I used to have some respect for the UAE, as compared to the other nearby shitholes, they actually invested the oil money they had, and now live off mostly of tourism and trade. Still, the backwards culture and oppressive regime is all the same.

A former dog groomer faces prison in Dubai for posting a critical Google review from Northern Ireland months before holidaying in the United Arab Emirates.

Craig Ballentine, 33, was arrested on slander charges three weeks ago after arriving in Abu Dhabi to visit friends, according to Detained in Dubai, a British organisation that provides legal assistance to tourists in the UAE.

His sudden detention comes months after he criticised his former employer, a Dubai-based canine salon, online about the “legal nightmare” he experienced following a six-month stint at the company.

After becoming ill — and having a couple of days off work — he was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a long-term condition that causes pain all over the body.

Ballentine, from Cookstown, Northern Ireland, told Detained that despite informing his boss about the diagnosis, and providing his employer with his doctor’s certificate, she registered him as “absconded” with the authorities, meaning he faced a travel ban on his passport which took two months and thousands of pounds to resolve.

“After picking up the pieces, he left an online review of the grooming centre and his former boss, noting the problems she had caused him. It wasn’t an abusive post and he had no idea that several months later, he would become a criminal and face prosecution,” the group said.

Ballentine was transported from Abu Dhabi to Dubai to face charges of slander under the UAE’s strict cybercrime laws that prohibit any form of online criticism.

Ballentine is now “stuck in the country, absent from his employment as a support worker with autistic people and facing two years in prison”, the group said.

“This case will send shockwaves to tourists and expats who feel safe posting online from the safety of their own countries,” warned Radha Stirling, the chief executive of Detained.

His family said they were not informed by the authorities in Dubai about his arrest, and did not know where he was during what was supposed to be a short vacation. Ballentine told Stirling in a phone call: “Mum was so upset and stressed, she thought I was dead.”

Stirling warned that Ballentine “has been advised by local lawyers there is almost zero chance of the case against him being dropped”.

She said: “When someone is offended, even if they are at fault, they can open a criminal prosecution out of spite. Craig deleted the post, apologised but still faces jail. It’s outrageous.

“The UAE’s recently enacted cybercrime laws are a nightmare for foreigners. It is sufficient for a complainant to simply tell police that someone posted something offensive or rude. The police don’t even need to see the actual post. The complainants have all the power and often demand money from the accused to close out the case.”

The Khaleej Times recently warned that those caught out by the strict cybercrime rules become trapped in legal battles and can face hefty fines if they are “overtly critical or give a vilifying Google review, as businesses are becoming increasingly vigilant about safeguarding their reputations”.

A woman in Dubai was last year found guilty of defamation for an Instagram post that “damaged a hospital’s reputation” after she posted a video clip, criticising it as the “worst hospital”.

Stirling said that Ballentine needed to return home and to his work, as he has dedicated his life to helping others.

“It’s atrocious that authorities are allowing such frivolous criminal reports to entangle visitors in the system. There are no protections or safeguards and people’s lives are being ruined,” she added.

The Times has contacted the Foreign Office, the UAE embassy in London, and the Dubai prosecutor’s office for comment.

A spokesman for the Foreign Office said: “We are providing support to a British man in the UAE and have been in contact with the local authorities.”

Yeah can we find what the grooming company's name is?