For someone who gives this much of a shit about gender roles, you'd think they'd learn the correct forms of the word for an intended spouse.
What a narrow view. In other many places things are different and they function you know. In Brazil kids get the mother's surname.
Wait until he finds out about Icelandic naming conventions!
Interesting how it goes?
My maiden name was awful to have. Other people liked it because it looked cool, but it was a hassle for everything even in the US, where at least part of it was well known. I then moved to Germany, where it was just totally foreign.
My married name is under three syllables (vs more than eight), easy to spell, and sounds as German as possible. My husband would have loved to take my last name, but we couldn’t do it the way we wanted to (German naming laws 🙃). I would really have liked to at least have been able to keep my maiden name as a middle name, but alas.
I still feel very weird (about a year out) about it, but there are way more good feelings than bad.
However, it’s really annoying that people now assume I’m German. I put in a shit load of work to learn German well as an adult, and my strongest skill is in pronunciation. That combined with my name means people think I’m just a native German who’s bad at grammar, and they don’t correct me anymore.
I always wanted to blend in as a native, I just didn’t think about the middle stretch where I just seem a bit dumb to others, both because of the language and cultural things that people now expect me to know (I thought it was called handkäse because you can eat the little rounds straight from the hand, no need for bread, until last year).
I have a German surname, but my family changed the pronunciation to sound lest German during WWII so now Germans pronounce it "wrong" and no one else can pronounce it at all.
I read most of my news, so it took about a month to realize the VP candidates last name was pronounced “Walls,” so you’re among company.
I’m from Connecticut, which has a town called Berlin, pronounced BURR-lun (/‘bərlən/). That , like the pronunciation of many German-origin names, was changed during WWII, but it’s basically a shibboleth for locals now, like Houston Street.
I'm in Indiana and half of our place names are pronounced incorrectly.
Ver-sayles (Versailles)
Rooshaville (Russiaville)
Pee-ru (Peru)
Kay-roh (Cairo)
And, of course, we're the home of the University of Note'r Daym.
Saint Louis would like some words:
Bellefontaine (BELL-fountain)
Cabanne (CAB-a-knee)
Chouteau (SHOW-toe)
Carondelet (kron-duh-let)
Cote Brilliante (coat BRILL-yunt)
DeTonty (duh-TON-tee)
Dougherty Ferry (DOOR-uh-tee ferry)
DeBaliviere (duh-BALL-uh-ver)
Goethe (GO-thee)
Gravois (GRAV-oy)
Gratiot (GRASH-it)
Hodiamont (HOAD-uh-mont)
Juniata (june-ee-AH-tuh)
Kossuth (KOSS-ooth)
Laclede (lah-CLEED)
Spoede (SPAY-dee)
Tesson Ferry (TESS-on ferry)
Zumbehl (ZUM-bull)
Sounds like L.A., where they like to mispronounce every Spanish name and half the names are in Spanish.
Like Lows Feel-iz (Los Feliz)
Yup, we also add French and German in the mix!
German here. Took my wife’s name because she has publications and I don’t. I have no idea what you are talking about. In Germany any partner can take the others name in a marriage or even have a compound name (maiden name - new name). My father took my mother’s name, they divorced 20 years ago, now my father is going to change his name back to his old name. My sister married her girlfriend, she took her name. Idk at this point it kinda became our internal family joke thing although our last name wasn’t that horrible
I already had a compound name, and we both have middle names, which are the relevant problems to combining our names the way we wanted.
In Germany, you can’t have a twice hyphenated name (not that I wanted one), nor can you use that hyphenated name as an additional middle name, if you already have one.
Ah ok thanks for explaining. That makes sense that although they redid the law that there’s still idiotic shit I it that doesn’t work in real life.
My fiance and I are considering creating a brand new last name that we both take.
Hot tip, change HIS last name prior to the wedding and she gets the name change free.
I know a couple that waited until after the wedding to do that and the husband changed his name, then the wife was given the option of keeping her old name, or switch to his old name.
She ended up having to go through the entire name change process without the benefit of the auto-name flip from the marriage.
This is really interesting, because in my state in Australia, this process isn't gendered at all. The man can take the woman's name just as easily, same with same-sex marriages.
I recommend Dax
CONCATENATE([HusbandsName], [WifesName])
Oh wait, wrong Dax.
I've known other people who do that.
I just feel like any name change that you don't need (i.e. you're transitioning) is just more bother than it's worth.
Yeah, that's what we are running into. The marriage forms here in NC make it simple to take the husband's last name as part of the process, but any other kind of change requires a lot of crazy, expensive, and time consuming steps.
I wonder if there's an opening there to claim discrimination on the basis of sex.
Marrying Jeffery Combs is like marrying 300 men at the same time, though. Every day he can just act like a different alien.
Women, don't marry men who won't take your name. That's a wall of separation he wants to keep between you. It won't be the only one.
I took my wife's name when we got married. I hate my family and intended to change my last name anyway. Her family is awesome. It was an easy choice.
And don't marry a man who insists you take his. That's a wall of control he's building around you and he won't stop until he's separated you from everyone and everything you love. Marry the man who accepts it's your choice to decide, along with every other decision about yourself.
There are lots of reasons for women to keep their maiden name. In the case of my wife, she had two good ones:
-
She didn't want to become disassociated from her scientific publications.
-
She didn't want to complicate or redo any immigration paperwork.
Also some names just sound better. And some names go better than others with some surnames
How normal is a maiden name? I thought mostly Christians did it. In a lot of cultures surname is just a father's name, so maiden concept never made sense to me.
Edit: confused maiden name with husband name.
I don't know what you think a maiden name is, but it is her father's surname.
It's a 'maiden name' because you're supposed to keep it until you're married, at which point you're no longer a maiden and you take your husband's name.
Sorry English is not my first language. I meant to ask, how common it is to change surname to husband one.
I think the wife should get to keep her surname because like I said in most cultures surname is a father/family name so once married, your father or family you were born in doesn't change.
I would like some evidence that is true about "most cultures."
Wikipedia sure doesn't suggest that's true. If anything, it varies a lot.
Reread my comment."most" was used while referring to surname being a father/family name. Don't need Wikipedia to know that.
And my comment was doing the opposite of what you are alleging. I'm asking how common are husband names(that wives get). It is very clearly a question and not an imposition.
I see, this is just how you think the world should work. I guess you'll have to learn to live with the disappointment that it doesn't.
There are tons of reasons why one might not want to change their name. At a minimum you have to send a form to the state, update any licenses you have, contact your banks, your insurance, your place of work... Best case scenario it's an annoying hassle to deal with.
Was I appreciative when my wife took my name? Sure. But that's mostly because we also share the same first name so it's hilarious to share the same last name. But I told her many times before we got married she didn't need to do it. I never expected that out of her.
If having a matching name is a big deal with you, then you can change your name.
If having a matching name is a big deal with you, then you can change your name.
'Why should I have to change? He's the one who sucks!' -Michael Bolton
My wife meant to take my name, but then we never did the paperwork. So we just left it.
It's heart warming to see Jeffrey Combs is an incredible actor with good taste in the company he keeps. It's exciting seeing him vocally shouting down the fascists.
It's fiancée. Fiancé is male.
Today I Learned! I had no idea there was a difference. Apparently they are pronounced the same, it's only a written difference.
But it seems like in English fiancé is becoming a gender neutral term
I just see it as a hassle. Like why even bother? She would have to explain why she wants to take my name and I would try talking her out of it "What if we get a divorce in 7 years or so? Do you just have to change it back then?" I'm sure that would go over well
Patriarchal traditions aside, part of the idea is that you're aiming for a permanent relationship, or you shouldn't do it
I think it’s safe to say that Walsh knows a lot about women maintaining “walls of separation”. Maybe even restraining orders.
Yet another conservative weakchin hiding behind a beard.
They're certainly going for a look right now.
I almost kept my maiden, but now it's an additional middle name. I love my maiden name, but I changed my name to my husbo's because it has a Z in it and I was super stoked to have a Z in my signature. 😂I also like the way it sounds with my first name.
Sometimes, it's really that simple. My husband didn't care either way when we discussed it. It was just a choice I made.
My wife went double-barreled after I specifically told her I didn't care if she changed, kept, or anything in between. I didn't want to change my name, so why should she have to?
Twenty years next summer.
Edit: "double-barreled" just means hyphenated.
TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name
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