410
Misgendering does not rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 11 hours ago by unlawfulbooger to c/196
top 40 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 3 hours ago

yeah it's depressing seeing people decide that it's okay to do asshole things if it is towards asshole people, I understand that you want to be a jerk back but it makes me feel like we lost the progress we just made towards not doing the asshole thing

[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 16 points 4 hours ago

I often ask people who deadname (bad) trans people if they also deadname Stalin. Oh, the mental gymnastics I often see...

[-] saturno@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 hours ago

what do you mean by deadname stalin?

[-] Taalnazi@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

His birth name was Iosif Dzhugivashili if I recall it correctly.

[-] yenguardian 8 points 2 hours ago

Stalin was not his birth name

[-] JPAKx4 62 points 9 hours ago

I only deadname twitter, am I chill?

[-] 1stTime4MeInMCU@mander.xyz 66 points 8 hours ago

Corporations aren’t people, they don’t have deadnames or pronouns. Fire away

[-] princessnorah 5 points 2 hours ago

Citizens United vs Federal Election Commission has entered the chat

(/s if it wasn't obvious)

[-] pmc 29 points 8 hours ago

I think deadnaming the corporate entity Twitter is fine as long as a certain CEO continues to deadname his living breathing daughter.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 10 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Looks at Caitlyn Jenner We recognize your status as woman, but you are now on this council. Do not take a seat.

I will however misgender cispeople who are openly bigoted, as a "Uno Reverse Card" on their "Transvestigation" nonsense...

Wait I just realized that term is a pun on "Transvestite" and Transvestism has literally nothing to be with being trans... If I were to wear a woman's clothing I'm not wearing the opposite gender's clothing for kicks, because I AM a woman, god damn it htese mother fuckers.

Also it's okay to deadname a corporation, or Jesse Mcree, or Dr. Robotnik. Probably shouldn't deadname Mr. Satan, the name Hercule is on fucking life support and that's probably for the best.... But don't be that dick who says they're boycotting DBZ because Vegeta deadnames Goku by calling him "Kakarot"

I have sadly seen that argument before...

Wait what the fuck am I talking about anymore?

[-] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 19 points 6 hours ago

Wait what the fuck am I talking about anymore?

I... don't know. But please don't misgender cis people. It just makes it harder to convince them that misgendering is wrong if you also do it. The trans community is more vulnerable to misgendering than the bigots, so if we start doing it to people we don't like, then it becomes some sort of schoolyard insult revenge term where we as trans folk lose.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 1 points 4 hours ago

No I specifically mean misgendering transphobes, not random cispeople.

[-] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 9 points 3 hours ago

Lots of transphobic cis people are agender eggs who don't care about being misgendered because they can't be. If you teach them what being misgendered feels like, they might decide it didn't feel bad for them, so it must not feel bad for out trans people either. That's teaching the wrong lesson.

[-] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 11 points 4 hours ago

I understand. Please don't do that for the reasons I stated above. Purposely misgendering transphobes only encourages them to purposely misgender us.

[-] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 110 points 11 hours ago

Even with a trans person does something shitty, such as Blair White, Caitlyn Jenner or Ezra Miller, it's not a free pass to misgender them. The only effect of that is the trans people in your life know you aren't the ally you claim to be. You aren't misgendering your friends because you are polite. It's absolutely not okay, keep criticizing crappy trans folk, but when you intentionally misgender then you attack all of us.

[-] YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub 8 points 7 hours ago

There is a literal nazi who chose the name Augustus Invictus and I will call him that as I wish for him the absolute worst. He is on trial so hopefully he gets the worst.

[-] 1stTime4MeInMCU@mander.xyz 77 points 11 hours ago

Also applies to misogyny in general. You can call out terfs (or just regular anti trans conservative women) for being bigoted shit faces without resorting to gendered attacks.

[-] unlawfulbooger 21 points 11 hours ago
[-] bizarroland@fedia.io 7 points 7 hours ago

Any person regardless of their sexuality or gender can be an asshole.

As long as you don't target them for their identity, you can call them out for their assholeshness.

[-] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 30 points 11 hours ago

Ooh, this is a great template, can be applied to all variety of bigotry, which people feel is ok as long as it's aimed at other bigots, ignoring the fact that all they're doing is putting more bigotry out in to the world, and telling marginalised people around them that they aren't safe.

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 8 points 10 hours ago

can be applied to any shitty behaviour tbh. Too many people think that once someone is shitty to them, they have free reign to also be shitty as a payback. They think they gave the asshole a piece of their own medicine, but actually they started rolling in the mud with them

[-] jojo 2 points 11 hours ago

I'm sorry, but what are you trying to say here? Why are you saying this to this specific image?

[-] ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works 19 points 11 hours ago

Ooh, this is a great template

[-] ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 9 points 11 hours ago

The one exception should be teachers who refuse to stop misgendering a student, and then only done by the other students.

[-] unlawfulbooger 2 points 1 hour ago

Even then, there’s probably a better way to solve the problem, instead of a petty “no U”.

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 4 points 11 hours ago

But its still funny how violently some people react to something that they do to other people every day(double standards)

[-] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 9 points 7 hours ago

Which people to which people? You're imagining things if you think queer people deliberately misgender cis people on the regular.

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 hours ago

I got really misunderstood. Im saying the same cishet toxic males who misgendender trans people, hate being misgendered because it attacks their fragile perception of themselves.

[-] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

Perhaps it's fun to turn it back on them, but by doing so you're making it acceptable. Next time they misgender someone they'll say "but libs do it to me".

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 1 points 18 minutes ago

No im not saying you should do it, i agree with the post but they are huge hypocrits(transphobes)

[-] SunlitSorceress@lemmy.ml 3 points 11 hours ago

I mean, there's misgendering and misgnedering, isn't there?

Accidentally calling a woman a man on the internet coz u didn't know is not a big deal.

It can be something liberals use for their witch hunts.

[-] laffytaffer@lemm.ee 3 points 5 hours ago

misgnedering

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 34 points 10 hours ago

not knowing someone's pronouns & assuming wrong =/= misgendering

knowing someone's pronouns and intentionally using the wrong ones = misgendering

[-] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 9 points 6 hours ago

Also, fighting years of muscle memory =/= misgendering.

I might have misgendered an old friend of mine shortly after they started transitioning, but they knew it was a mistake and didn't seem to care.

[-] princessnorah 4 points 2 hours ago

Yeah absolutely this. I've seen too often in trans spaces when these sorts of accidents aren't given any leeway or grace. We're all human though, and it bothers me when folks are put down when there was zero malicious intent.

My mum deadnamed me more recently, despite me being out for almost eight years now. But she called me my older brother's name first, then deadname, then Norah. She was mortified, and apologised profusely. How could I hold any ill will against her for that?

[-] Ziglin@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

It's probably best to mention it was an accident with people you're not as close with.

[-] Blazingtransfem98@discuss.online 9 points 6 hours ago

My mother uses that excuse though, same excuse she uses to call me my old name, and to say that I'm a man. Horrible old witch. I know it's an excuse because she doesn't bother correcting herself, she keeps going and is insistent that I'm actually a man and that it can't be changed.

[-] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

There's clearly a different intent there.

[-] Ziglin@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

That sounds extremely frustrating. I hope you have other people around to support you.

I'm very glad that being non binary didn't bring the pronoun changes to me (yet) otherwise it would be a nightmare getting my family to use them.

[-] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 5 points 6 hours ago

I think once or twice in the first couple of months of transitioning that started about four years ago and we're still talking and helping each other indicates that there's no hard feelings. It's also not like I'm neutral on the subject otherwise. The people in this friend group know that I'm an ally on this subject. They also know I can even flub names when I get tired.

You know your mother doesn't respect you. My friends know I respect them.

this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
410 points (100.0% liked)

196

16359 readers
2011 users here now

Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.

Rule: You must post before you leave.

^other^ ^rules^

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS