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[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 186 points 1 year ago

"please don't fuck over the american people and shut down the government, in a short sighted gotcha because that would ruin my long-term plans to fuck over the american people."

-Bitch McConnell

[-] RunningInRVA@lemmy.world 55 points 1 year ago

His long term plans of fucking Americans were complete long before this election cycle.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 38 points 1 year ago
[-] RunningInRVA@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

Does he? I thought he kept freezing up and then slithering away.

[-] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago

He freezes in shock when someone discovers and destroys one of his Horcruxes.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

People like that?

Always scheming. Always.

[-] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

He was running low on his Unicorn blood transfusion

TBH I never expected this. As he declines from old age ( as I inferred from https://apnews.com/article/mitch-mcconnell-senate-republican-leader-stepping-down-ba478d570a4561aa7baf91a204d7e366 and https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/watch-mitch-mcconnell-freeze-press-conference-rcna96486 ) he's actually becoming a reasonable, sensible politician.

Well, on second thought, I'm being too optimistic.

[-] JesusSon@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago

That's Moscow Bitch McConnell to you buddy

[-] ravhall@discuss.online 8 points 1 year ago

It’s weird how all the Republicans have the same first and middle name

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Moscow's bitch McConnel can fuck off to that village the got for american expats. You know. The one right next to the front lines.

[-] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 year ago

The one that somehow, in a way that only Minecraft and Escher could pull off, is only stairs and high windows?

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I mean... I wouldn't trust the construction...

(or anything else. I'd just assume that anyone who took that offer would be off to the war in ukraine.)

[-] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

Does he even have long term plans? After his little "episodes"... last year? God, time is weird now.

[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 70 points 1 year ago
[-] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 61 points 1 year ago

Complicating things further, former President Donald Trump has demanded that the House pass the bill as is, and let the government shut down if they can't get it through.

This fucking guy again. Cause chaos, then run as the solution to the chaos.

[-] billiam0202@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

In other words, a consummate Republican.

The GOP campaigns on problems; the Dems campaign on solutions. Unfortunately, one of those is much easier to message than the other.

[-] danc4498@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Republicans! Fuck up the government then run on “minimize the government cause it’s so fucked up”.

[-] beliquititious 59 points 1 year ago

I sincerely hope his plea goes unanswered. I might be mixing up a few empty suits, but wasn't mitch the guy that played chicken with shutting down the government during the Obama administration and was yhe leading voice in the "the scary brown man can't disrupt our plans for the court" bullshit that happened during Obama's time in office.

Shame we don't live in a just world.

McConnell subsequently added the following commentary:

[-] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 33 points 1 year ago

"The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs, trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping."

Damn right, I'm not helping.

[-] Sludgehammer@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago

Even a turtle realizes when something can threaten its existence.

[-] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Also, why doesn't most of McConnell just blow as dust in the wind yet? How do I get whatever he got instead of cremation? That guy is mummy old as heck.

[-] themadcodger@kbin.earth 11 points 1 year ago

Wasn't his hand necrotic at one point?

[-] barsquid@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

That happens because he missed a meal of children's blood. He is a deep state pedo vampire drinking children's blood as part of a pact with Satan. People are saying he smells like sulphur.

[-] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago

McConnell is kept "alive" by the curse on the USA that came about when it was built on top of an Indian burial ground.

[-] Furbag@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

They'd just blame the Democrats anyway. Republicans thrive in dysfunction because they can convince their low info base that nothing bad is ever their fault.

[-] noxy@yiffit.net 11 points 1 year ago

he hasn't died or wandered off confused yet?

[-] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 year ago

The dark magic keeping him running is still going strong

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I'm not sure we could tell

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 year ago

Did he improve his connection bandwidth to the aliens for this one?

Or was he still waiting for multiple minutes before responding?

[-] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

😂😆 LOL! Please guys I'm begging 🙏! Don't 😂😆 LOL! Don't shut the government! Don't! LOL... Oh fuck LOL 😅😆. Don't 😂. Psych! Shit it down now! Let the record show that it was me who said that too.... wouldn't want to republican this bitch real gud and not take ownersh...no, what's the word!? Department of education!

[-] ravhall@discuss.online 2 points 1 year ago
[-] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Best auto correct ever! LOL Republicans! Assemble! Shit it down! Shit it down now! Now before anyone could benefit from any of the poor services provided by the fed via our tax dollars.

[-] ATDA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

The shutdown didn't effect me at all. Since Republicans are so about fuck you got mine... Do it bitches, shut it down. Do it you fucking cowards.

Or don't and look like idiots I didn't give a shit haha.

[-] Gerudo@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Narrator : They shutdown

[-] ikidd@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

If Mitch is wagging his finger, you know it's staged. Because that fuck wouldn't back down from an insane powerplay when he was in the position.

[-] YeetPics@mander.xyz 2 points 1 year ago

Did he say this before, during or after his most recent TIA?

this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
367 points (100.0% liked)

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