1079
submitted 11 months ago by nifty@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
all 36 comments
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[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 153 points 11 months ago

"The hotel was perfect but the weather was bad." 3/5

[-] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 41 points 11 months ago

that's the essence of many reviews unfortunately ha

[-] Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 30 points 11 months ago

Sometimes for gits and shiggles, I'll check the one star reviews for things I know are going to trip inexperienced people up.

Like... It's basically the "substituted flour with powdered eggplant and milk with tobacco sauce, 1/10 tasted horrible but I followed the recipe exactly" meme

Especially anything with DIY properties. "doesn't work, connected to the battery and it immediately blew up" when it's clear from the picture they hooked a 48v battery into a 12v speed controller. Or cut some wires they weren't supposed to. Or reversed polarity of an important component. Or....

And rather than admit they fucked it up, they give bad reviews.

I particularly like when the listing is clearly for something that requires assembly, and bad reviews complain it came "in pieces". READ, YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKERS

And if you see a bunch of bad grammar, and inconsistent specs in a listing.... Maybe don't put too much faith in the $5 item that would cost $100 if you bought it from a licensed and certified source with quality assurance...

[-] hungryphrog 3 points 11 months ago

What meme? I can't find anything because it just keeps showing me eggplant recipes.

[-] dudinax@programming.dev 15 points 11 months ago

It's probably great, but UPS lost it. 1/5. Would be 0/5 if I could give 0.

[-] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 14 points 11 months ago

Why do they use [FedEx/UPS/USPS]?! [FedEx/UPS/USPS] can never find my house! [FedEx/UPS/USPS] is the WORST shipping service of all of them! Product is amazing though.

-three separate one-star reviews

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 2 points 11 months ago

POV: 3 separate 1-star reviews are as good as one 3-star review

[-] psmgx@lemmy.world 65 points 11 months ago
[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 65 points 11 months ago

I can give myself a handjob. You want that fifth star you better get to suckin.

[-] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 17 points 11 months ago

something something Marilyn Manson something something bottom two ribs

[-] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 13 points 11 months ago

Meh that's an old fake story.

The guy from Whitest Kids You Know on the other hand, he fell off a balcony after successfully giving himself a blowie.

[-] Grimy@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago
[-] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 7 points 11 months ago

Dude was a sexual powerhouse. Rip

[-] Omniraptor@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

yeah iirc his will asked to be identified as "local sexpot" in the obituary.

[-] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 4 points 11 months ago

Is that actually real? Googled it and I found the accident, but nothing about autofellatio

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

He did fall from a balcony. His fellow wkuk cast members said he died sucking his own dick as their way of honoring him with humor.

https://youtu.be/glDqt6K7_D8

[-] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

Lol I forgot about drowning in his own cum.

I give those guys so much respect for going through with honoring him like that. Not many people would actually do that after a close friend dies.

[-] dudinax@programming.dev 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Pythons showing respect for Graham Chapman's ashes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox9bcx_LZMs

[-] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 2 points 11 months ago

yeah it's probably bollocks but people of a...certain vintage can't think of stories of sucking oneself off without making the link to big Brian himself.

[-] Slovene@feddit.nl 1 points 11 months ago

Yes. Here's a lovely song explaining it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6HQgKGOFHFE

[-] rockhstrongo@lemmy.world 50 points 11 months ago

One star off because the doctor is the one who hit them with a Mercedes

[-] zourn@lemmy.world 45 points 11 months ago

That 5th star was for making his life worth saving.

[-] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 45 points 11 months ago

One way to get five star ratings would be climbing a tall building, enabling GOD MODE, and then blasting anything that moves with RPGs... At least that's how I remember GTA San Andreas

[-] the_beber@lemm.ee 44 points 11 months ago

There‘s an intrinsic bias to never (or rarely) give the maximum or minimum on a rating scale. source

[-] Infynis@midwest.social 18 points 11 months ago

I don't bother writing a review unless it's a one or five star. Maybe a particularly offensive two star

[-] flames5123@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

But really! In Japan, most people do 3 stars for great service. Most good businesses have 2.5-3.5 stars.

[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 31 points 11 months ago

Imagine seen the light, feeling the peace and the BAM... an asshole saved your life. And he thinks he deserves 5 stars. The audacity

[-] myusernameis@lemmy.ca 15 points 11 months ago

I worked in craft beer marketing for a while and the running joke about untapped was something like...

"Best lager I've ever had... I don't like lagers. 1 star."

[-] marito@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

I have no idea why my Uber rating (passenger) is 4.7.

[-] TurboHarbinger@feddit.cl 13 points 11 months ago

2/5 passenger didn't listen to me talk about

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 10 points 11 months ago

"Dr. Lewis saved my life!" One star, because they wanted to die

[-] profdc9@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Maybe it was just coincidence that the patient survived when Dr. Lewis intervened. Correlation is not causation, after all.

[-] Zachariah@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Did he check his whole island for weeds?

[-] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 7 points 11 months ago

Have to do it again but this time do it under an hour.

[-] fl42v@lemmy.ml 1 points 11 months ago

Beating good old amputation speedrun with 300% mortality?

this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
1079 points (100.0% liked)

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