23
I need image help. (self.mtf)
submitted 1 year ago by EsheLynn to c/mtf
NSFW 7 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I feel the need to say beforehand, I'm slightly drunk right now, and my inhibitions are lowered by this, but this has been bothering me lately.

I don't know of I need some kind of help. I've kind of become enamored with a "slutty, bimbo" look for myself, wearing really short booty shorts and really short crop tops, and wanting to adopt a "slutty" lifestyle. I've always liked the idea of being indiscriminate of my partners. I want to say, though, I can't right now, since she left.

Depressing thoughts aside, should I talk to my therapist about this? I don't want to end up using sex to cope with my mental deficiencies, but, my mind is equating what I've always wanted in a partner is what I've really wanted for myself.

I'm ashamed of being slut-shamed, or my kids seeing me with multiple sexual partners. I know it is too early to think about sex, but I'm really self conscious about my innate desire to dress and be slutty. I'm sorry if I'm oversharing, but I don't know what to do with this part of myself.

top 7 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Blahaj_Blast 9 points 1 year ago

Yeah I would definitely talk to a (Hopefully allied) therapist.

I have a theory that when you're wondering about something like transition, you want a clear answer. If I try something sort of gender neutral but on the other side, well people might not notice and also I might not get a big feeling from it. If I try something more extreme, maybe I'll feel a stronger reaction and figure out "omg this is what I needed" or "no I definitely don't actually want this afterall".

[-] EsheLynn 5 points 1 year ago

Oh, I don't wonder. I've never been more sure. I've ditched all my old clothes, and have been wearing leggings and tank tops the entire time. Since coming out to my family, I'm less nervous to go out. I've even felt comfortable enough to use the women's room!

I did a thought experiment with my son yesterday while playing GTA with him, and redid my character as my transition goals, not some gross charicature of what I think I'll look like (how they have a hundred hair styles and they all suck idk. Maybe it's just my potato computer) It was so enthralling, and he redid his character with his goals. I didn't know I wanted tattoos and ear piercings 😳 and when I got into my favorite car, woo. I want to wear booty shorts and crop tops, and am so looking forward to when I feel more comfortable to wear it.

My son is trying to take a bit better care of himself since he tasted euphoria. I've started taking better care of myself since I've started my journey. Brushing my teeth more, shaving daily(someone said the other day, having the right goals is a great motivator), caring more about my hair, my presentation. I just thought I needed to put on clothes and look semi decent. Now I care about my appearance. I care if I wear ratty clothes now.

[-] JessieRock 8 points 1 year ago

Definitely talk with your therapist about these feelings.

I think we all go through a "slutty" stage in dress or actions after spending so much time trying to repress and hide it our true selves. It's kinda like making up for missed opportunities and Finding ourselves.

[-] EsheLynn 3 points 1 year ago

It's just, if you made a Venn Diagram of a year ago me objectively describing physical attributes I found hot in a woman, and my transition goals, I think it would just be a circle. I want long blonde hair, sky blue nails, not afraid to show off her body. I keep calling it sluttiness, but, it's probably just confidence. Confidence is sexy after all. Confidence in myself and my body, to think I'm hot shit. Not in a condescending way, mind you. I've been talked down to enough to know how it feels.

[-] stella 7 points 1 year ago

nothing wrong with being slutty or having multiple partners of any kind! do whatever feels right :3

[-] EsheLynn 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah, but it would be weird in a few years when I start dating again for my kids to meet a different date of the week, if I brought any one home. Idk. It's waaaaaay to early to even think about that. I don't even think I've started to grieve properly. I kinda think I'm happier, in a way, that she's gone.

[-] NoStressyJessie 3 points 1 year ago

The kids shouldn’t be meeting your date of the week, they need something more stable than that (in my opinion of course, no shame). I have always been the type to want to know who I’m introducing to my kids, and I’ve seen enough of my divorced friends get pissed about it or hold each other to different standards that I wouldn’t want to have to go through it myself.

this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2023
23 points (100.0% liked)

Transfem

3522 readers
2 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
LadyAutumn
ada