534
well shoot (fedia.io)
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] scytale@lemm.ee 29 points 5 months ago

I remember back at the height of the pandemic, I saw this lady licking her finger so she can open those plastic bags, then proceeded to touch multiple vegetables and fruits.

[-] Iapar@feddit.de 11 points 5 months ago

Of course people touch those all the time. Maybe they sneezed before entering the store etc. Always wash the things you consum before because you never know.

And with the bag you just breath on your findertips and then you have some grip. And the you, of course, proceed to touch every vegetable and fruit you can lay your filthy fingers on.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] mryessir@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 5 months ago

Pff. I once saw some crack-y woman using the entire shelf of makeup in the store.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

I wet my finger on the drops that fall from the misting nozzles in the produce area. Works every time, no licking. You're all welcome.

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 22 points 5 months ago

Place the top of the bag between your palms, then think about your evil plan while sliding your hands against each other till they open, if not, try it on the bottom of the bag.

[-] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

The "Mr. Miyagi" technique.

[-] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 5 points 5 months ago

It’s worth pointing out that this only works if your plan is sufficiently evil.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 5 months ago

yet another reason why paper veggie bags are better, trivially easy to open.

[-] Nastybutler@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago

Pro tip: Breath on your fingertips like you would if you were trying to fog up a pair of glasses. Better than licking your fingers

[-] the_doktor@lemmy.zip 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Come on.

  1. Find correct end of bag, bag will tell you which is correct

  2. Place that end of bag between your (dry, not breathed on, non-disgusting) palms

  3. Rub back and forth a few times

  4. Enjoy your open bag

[-] RBWells@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

You must not have dry hands. That step #3 should be:

Stand there rubbing on the bag with nothing happening, hand bag to husband or go over to the lettuce section and touch the ice then open the bag.

Most stuff I just toss in the cart with no plastic bag, but like to have a few for the refrigerator, they are useful.

[-] the_doktor@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 months ago

My hands are bone dry and this works. Try harder.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] RidderSport@feddit.de 6 points 5 months ago

Pro tip: use reusable vegetable bags

[-] Dabundis@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

This is the way. Plus they're usually mesh so you can just toss them in the fridge with your produce and it stays breathable

[-] sirico@feddit.uk 14 points 5 months ago

All that stuff was in dirt not long ago it'll be fine without one

[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Dirt AND shit!

[-] Daxtron2@startrek.website 11 points 5 months ago

I've never understood the point of these bags. I have no problem just not using them?

[-] Stovetop@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago
  • Loose small produce like beans or cherries - keeps them all together.

  • Moistened produce like kale or cilantro - keeps everything else in the bag from getting wet.

  • Produce with flaky detritus like onions or garlic - keeps pieces of peel from getting everywhere.

  • Raw meat prone to leakage - keeps other items in the bag from being exposed to potential pathogens.

They sell reusable mesh bags to help with the first scenario, but they aren't really helpful for the other 3. I also try to be mindful of not buying more reusable bags I don't need because most of those end up in landfills long before the 100/200/500/20,000 uses needed to offset the number of plastic bags you'd use otherwise.

Paper bags would help for the first and third scenarios as well, but not the other two. And single-use paper is nearly as bad.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Spitzspot@lemmings.world 8 points 5 months ago

Babies' diapers leak and the carts are almost never cleaned.

[-] whereBeWaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 5 months ago

I don't want the stuff I buy to touch the shopping cart or the conveyor also it is easier to separate them from other stuff in the fridge when you get back home

[-] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago

Do you have any idea how many boxes, crates, hands and other surfaces the produce has already touched? Its also just sitting in the open at the store for people to touch, sneeze on, drop on the floor. The carts and the conveyor won't make it any worse and you should be washing all produce before eating it anyway.

[-] whereBeWaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 5 months ago

Yeah I am aware of all of that, and I wash the stuff always. Even if the bag gets me no benefits it still makes me feel more at ease.

[-] Esqplorer@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 months ago

Future generations hate you

[-] whereBeWaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 5 months ago

What a coincidence I hate them as well

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] frankpsy@lemm.ee 7 points 5 months ago

If he was at Walmart his issue would be finding one of those bags.

[-] lamabop@lemmings.world 4 points 5 months ago

Learn to moisturise goddamnit

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I’ve got lil mesh bags I use & wash when they get dirty. I pay slightly more due to the weight, but less plastic waste and I can actually open them

[-] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

With mask mandates and COVID fear at its peak, it was hillarious to watch this happening to multiple people simultaneously.

[-] CrowAirbrush@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

You might want to watch "zakje" by John Fealey, bonus laughs if you're Dutch as more of it will be relatable.

[-] faizalr@kbin.run 2 points 5 months ago

Nice tshirt.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
534 points (100.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26761 readers
3105 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS