684
sphincter? i never even met her (fedia.io)
submitted 2 years ago by downpunxx@fedia.io to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[-] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 59 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

There's a method, gents. Push the gooch a few times while using your "stop peeing" muscle. Then, pinch the shaft, applying pressure from the underside. Starting from the base, bring your fingers forward up the shaft towards the tip until you get those last few drops. It's clumsy at first, but you build a routine and the drip drip is a thing of the past.

Women who try this: you're just going to end up with your fingers in your vajayjay, not that I discourage that.

[-] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 40 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

There's a faux Christian saying: "If you shake it more that three times, that's masturbation."

[-] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 years ago

What if I can bust without touching it? Does God just congratulate me for the skill?

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Had that happen once (I'm a very needy guy, mmmk?). But I'm satanic so I'll let you know when I pick up my penthouse suite from the man himself. Probably throw you a party and bring a dozen guys in to blow you proper until you faint, I guess. No basic-bitch 'congratulations' here. We go all out.

[-] flicker@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Something about this comment and the way it was written has given me the vague feeling of a deep and interesting story in which you're playing a part. There's an air of mystery to it but a promise of a good time. 10/10 comment.

[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago

Tldr Jack it.

[-] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

Do you mean gooch? Chode is a penis that is girthier than it is long

[-] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I guess I've been using that term wrong for a very long term or the definition changed a while back. I consulted the urban dictionary which heartily agrees with you.

Actually, scrolling to page two in the urban dictionary does highlight the contention on the definition, so I don't feel too bad.

[-] JohnOliver@feddit.dk 5 points 2 years ago

I feel that pulling your balls forward and applying some pressure behind them, kind of improves this milking technique but basically, anything that gets more pee out after youre finished is good.

I also suspect that this is not the same between each time and can vary depending on many things

[-] NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 years ago

There are far more effective techniques out there. Please see this research paper by a top-tier scientist:

https://garry.net/posts/piss-shake

Or it might instead be a blog post by a video game developer, I don't really understand the difference.

[-] comador@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Or just, you, sit down to pee where it will all come out anyways.

[-] JohnOliver@feddit.dk 5 points 2 years ago

Just wait till you get older. You will cherish this time

[-] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

We stand up when we pee! Boo this man!!

BOO!

[-] CrowAirbrush@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Milk it, like the cow that you are😅

[-] Vespair@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Every so often I think about the fact that there are actually real people with real chodes and it legitimately makes me kind of sad

[-] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

That's right, all men need to know about pressing the button. 🙌🏻

[-] Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 years ago

I have seen people explain it but I still can't visualise this. Can you explain in more detail? For science. (But unironically)

[-] Ifera@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

"To empty this residual urine, the reported most effective method is called “urethral milking”. To do this, take your index finger and place it in the area between your scrotum and your rectum. Apply gently pressure and move your finger forward, up over the scrotum, and to the base of your penis, effectively draining any liquid that remains. Do this 3 times and then ‘milk’ your penis, gently squeezing from the base to the tip." - https://menshealth.com.au/how-to-stop-pee-drips/

Personally, I only do it once and it has worked wonders. Lmk if you need a visual aid(Unironically, that method fucking changed my life and I think it is so great that dads should be passing it on to their sons).

[-] Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 years ago

Yeah, I will have to look up a visual guide for that. I can't make this shit work. Thank you for sharing.

[-] Ifera@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Alright, I'll DM you after work.

[-] Paprika@lemmy.cafe 42 points 2 years ago

Put them back on? Don't you mean pull them back up?

What exactly is going on here?

[-] CouncilOfFriends@slrpnk.net 29 points 2 years ago

You have to take them off, if you want to sit backwards and rest your phone on the tank

[-] Poop@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 years ago

Paprika asking the spicy questions we didn't know we needed the answers to!

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Oh shit lmao. Guy is just out here air-drying his butthole for all to see. Some call it disgusting, but others? Efficient. Jensen, promote this man!

[-] Jubei_K_08@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

There is such a thing as forbidden knowledge, bud. There's a reason for it.

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 2 years ago

It’s most likely to happen when I’m wearing pants that are light enough to really show through. If my pants are dark and will hide it, my dick probably works twice as well that day.

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

You at your desk, staring at your dick: "cmon... WORK! You fuckin worked yesterday..."

Your boss who is standing behind you: "wtf"

[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 19 points 2 years ago

When you finish tinkling, just give the bit between the plums and the starfish a little poke to get the last few drops out.

You're welcome.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 7 points 2 years ago

Seriously... However awkward it is to talk about, it worked so well I told my coworkers lol

[-] PurplebeanZ@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

I keep hearing this but can't seem to get it to work :(

[-] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Listen... If you don't hear back from me, thanks for the life changing advice.

[-] nem@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 years ago

Whats the starfish

[-] Katana314@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

You need to bring a starfish from the beach when you go

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

My cat’s name is Sphincter.

[-] Loonesota@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

I mean... Maybe wipe as well? I just use like a square or two of TP and haven't really had any dripping issues since I started doing that.

[-] PrepareToBeLetDown@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Look up urethral milking. It helps.

[-] Dettweiler42@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

You gotta switch back to retention mode and relax before storage. There's a little bit of lag when the valve ages.

[-] Kastorlain@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Truth!!! Lord help yah if you wear cargo shorts and the wrong pair of boxers.

“Yeah, the faucet sprayed everywhere.”

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 6 points 2 years ago

Just walk on the spot while shaking your fella, works for me, tricks the little prick into thinking I've walked off.

[-] jenny_ball@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

gotta squeeze the grundle

[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

See I get around this by not wearing underwear.

[-] z00s@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

No matter how much you shake and dance,

The last few drops end up in your pants.

-Shakespeare, probably

this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
684 points (100.0% liked)

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