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Got permanent ban in r/LGBT and when i asked why I got a 3 day ban for promoting hate. (lemmy.world)
submitted 6 months ago by 1void1love@lemmy.world to c/reddit@lemmy.world
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This was my conment on a post saying that pregnant people should always be used instead of pregnant women. My comment was under someone saying vitamins for pregnant women should say vitamins for pregnant people. I have a trans son and many trans friends. My comment was not promoting hate! Fucking reddit mods

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[-] ada 40 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I have a couple of married friends. Both trans guys. They tried to adopt, and their options for surrogacy all fell through. So one of them carried their daughter. He didn't want to do it, but they were out of other options, so he did.

He wasn't "female whilst pregnant". He wasn't a mum, a mum to be, a pregnant woman, or any other term like that. He was a pregnant man, or when needed for clarity, a pregnant transgender man.

I'd ban you too, in a heartbeat, if you brought any of that bullshit in to a trans or queer sub that I moderate.

You having a trans kid doesn't give you permission to walk all over the voices and experiences of trans people trying to navigate pregnancy

[-] pyr0ball@reddthat.com 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Why is it so hard for some people to just say "ok" and move on because it's important to the other person. ESPECIALLY if "it's no big deal" then just do it and see how much more your NB and trans friends feel comfortable

[-] 1void1love@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Well its an opinion post. So i gave my opinion. Its not hate to have a different opinion. Im sure with further discussion we could have come to some understanding as happened later in that thread. Where i corrected some of my language and further explained my pov. As someone else clarified the opinion of the OP in a way that was easier for me to understand. We were very close to forming a better understanding of language and inclusion that made sense to each of us. Then the OP called me an asshole. Deleted their comment and i got banned.

[-] pyr0ball@reddthat.com 3 points 6 months ago

Indifference can cause more harm than hate, just food for thought

[-] 1void1love@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Your experience with your trans friends is wholy different than mine. Maybe its regional or cultural but the FTM trans I know well wouldn't object to being referred to or lumped in with pregnant women on a general basis and if they did they are fully capable of correcting those refering to them with whatever term suits them. For non-binary pregnant person may sufice, for some FTM they may prefer pregnant man. Thats kinda my main problem i think. Health care is such an individual thing. There's absolutely no reason why a doctor, nurse, or receptionist cannot use whatever term the person in front of them prefers instead of the extremely illiteritive term pregnant people. Why not just say the Pregnant? Or heck pregnant individuals if addressing a group? Pregnant people just sounds strange on the tounge and doesn't really suit everyone. As a cis female person I want to be referred to as a pregnant woman not a pregnant person. Your friend maybe would have preferred pregnant man? Idk but why can't we just meet individuals as individuals that they are?

[-] ada 9 points 6 months ago

Maybe its regional or cultural but the FTM trans I know well wouldn't object to being referred to or lumped in with pregnant women on a general basis and if they did they are fully capable of correcting those refering to them with whatever term suits them.

Cool. Whatever works for them.

But it's worth being aware that as you're not trans yourself, the whole "I have trans friends who are ok with this behaviour many trans people feel is problematic" just sounds like the same excuses bigots have used over the years. "I have black/trans/female friends who are ok with ".

Secondly, even if you are accurately representing their perspective, no one is taking away anyones right to identify with whatever terms best work for them. The issue is not pushing terms on to others who don't want them.

Your friends can identify with pregnant women all they like, but it becomes an issue when trans men who don't share that stance get told that they're the problem

[-] 1void1love@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Pregnancy vitamins.

How hard is that? Does it really need woman/people? Sheesh. Its like deodorant or razors that say "for men" or "for women" ...why is that even necessary!?!? Its the same stuff with a different color or different scent. Its all just dumb marketing.

Maybe people should just relax and realize that they don't need to be bothered by labels anyway. I guess sure you could argue that its easier being misgendered as a cis person and that Transgender have naturally more insecurities about it but then what about non-binary individuals? Either way they get misgendered but they dont seem as insecure about it?

Truthfully I think getting triggered by a stupid label on a pill bottle is kind of unnecessary. Just rip it off or write over it. Not a big deal. 99% of the people buying them are cis-female so they put woman on the label or put it in a stupid pink colored bottle or something....big deal. Its just a Pregnancy vitamin! Its the same thing no matter what color the bottle or what gendered nonsense is written on it. Smh.

It must suck going around choosing to be triggered by something like that. It shouldn't be that difficult to just be secure in your own indentity and stop letting the way the world works get under your skin.

[-] ada 8 points 6 months ago

And this is why you were banned. You posted bullshit. And when trans people explain why it's a problem, you tell them that no, actually, they're wrong, and that you, the person who isn't trans, knows how they should feel.

[-] beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

A little bit of friendly advice a very wise person gave once:

Truthfully I think getting triggered by a stupid label on a pill bottle is kind of unnecessary. Just rip it off or write over it. Not a big deal. 100% of the people buying them are people so they put people on the label or something…big deal. Its just a vitamin for pregnant people! Its the same thing no matter what color the bottle or what gendered nonsense is written on it. Smh.

It must suck going around choosing to be triggered by something like that. It shouldn’t be that difficult to just be secure in your own indentity and stop letting the way the world works get under your skin. So maybe instead of finding even more cumbersome paraphrases like "pregnant individuals" just to be contrarian when "people" is just as accurate and shorter, be secure in your identity. Don't let the way the world works get under your skin.

[-] Sentrovasi@kbin.social 2 points 6 months ago

In case my deletion of the comment wasn't federated: mb, I didn't realise it was an image post.

[-] lemmus@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

Outside of medical literature, assigned sex at birth is preferable over biological sex, e.g., assigned female at birth.

[-] 1void1love@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Yeah good point.

[-] Lolman228@kbin.social 8 points 6 months ago

I do not care

[-] gnomesaiyan@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

All this political correctness and the extent we go through to ensure no one's delicate heartstrings will be plucked is what makes this species so fucking pathetic.

[-] 1void1love@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

What ever happened to just talking to people? Why can't we change our language to fit the circumstances at hand instead of trying to find one size all solutions? Even among FTM or Non-binary individuals there's no agreement. Some are fine with pregnant woman, some what pregnant person/individual, some want to be referred to as a pregnant man! I dont need to agree with any of that to honor the person in front of me and use their preferred term. Just tell me! Don't assume malice where mistake is probably more likely.

I'm teaching my child to give others grace. Correct others who may mess up his pronouns. If they refuse to try to change then you can be offended. However, understanding that most people are just creatures of habit and don't understand how the other person feels goes a long way towards the end goal of mutual respect. Instantly chastising them and assuming ill intent does not. Speak up for yourself and try to be respectful until its clear the other person isnt willing to be respectful back.

[-] Devi@kbin.social 7 points 6 months ago

You probably shouldn't have been banned but you are wrong. "Female while pregnant" is pretty offensive.

[-] 1void1love@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Thats kinda my whole point. Should i have phrased things differently. Maybe. But banning is such a harse response. How can people have discussions and come to sone sorr of understanding if banning is the immediate response?

[-] 1void1love@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

To be clear.

  1. By wierd I simply meant Pregnant People sounds too illliteritive and when abbreviated (as happens in the medical field) it becomes PP which just sounds silly. Pregnant individuals would maybe be better but just The Pregnant or Pregnant is enough.

  2. Yes i could have phrased things better. Assigned Female at Birth instead of biological female for example.

  3. My main point is not that my opinions are better then the opinion of the OP or anyone else but that insta banning and assuming hate does nothing to help the cause. We should be able to just talk to eachother and ask questions and come to some sort of agreement (even if its agree to disagree). Insta banning is not an appropriate response here.

this post was submitted on 09 May 2024
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