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I just learned that the Time Cube is no more. (lemmy.world)
submitted 7 months ago by dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world to c/insanepeoplefacebook@lemmy.world
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Some of you may remember this absolute diamond of insanity that was the "4-Day Time Cube." This was the go-to example of the internet as a universal amplifier for communication - for both the sane and insane alilke. It was there from nearly the start of the world-wide web, back in the 1990's. Alas, it ceased to be some time ago, but it still lives on in our hearts.

For the uninitiated: welcome. Read and join the rest of us that are "educated stupid."

Amateur documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7lWCqbgQnU

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[-] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 57 points 7 months ago

And additional reading:

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Time_Cube

Warning -- Do not attempt to read the entirety of the original text of the Time Cube web site even if you can find an archive of it. If you think you've ever seen a "wall of text," whatever you're thinking of pales in comparison to the monumental screed that Gene Ray put together and slapped on the internet. It's a completely incomprehensible monolith of run-on sentences and whackdoodle ranting in eye searing colors peppered with random bolding and underlining. You can glance at it to get the idea, but trying to process the entire thing will probably leave you just as insane as the author by the time you get to the bottom.

[-] don@lemm.ee 31 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

As a person who visited the actual website when it was up and scrolled through the ridiculously long single page of center-justified text, this description is entirely accurate.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 22 points 7 months ago

Here at !InsanePeopleFacebook@lemmy.world, we have a team of crack scientists that are studying this dangerous material one line at a time, for safety.

[-] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 19 points 7 months ago

You need to stop giving those scientists crack, damn

[-] UntouchedWagons@lemmy.ca 2 points 7 months ago

But it's just so moreish!

I had to look up how to spell moreish

[-] Madrigal@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

This has real parsing [X]HTML with regex vibes.

[-] UntouchedWagons@lemmy.ca 5 points 7 months ago

That answer is fantastic, I'm surprised it wasn't removed for being funny or something.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

The timecube website is an IRL SCP.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 5 points 7 months ago

I'm not insane. I am a cubic creature.

[-] Canadian_anarchist@lemmy.ca 2 points 7 months ago

That was an interesting read. Thanks for the link

[-] arquebus_x@kbin.social 33 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I love what Wikipedia says, succinctly:

"The Time Cube website did not have a home page as such…In one paragraph, he claimed that his own wisdom 'so antiquates known knowledge' that a psychiatrist examining his behavior diagnosed him with schizophrenia."

[-] buffalobuffalo 20 points 7 months ago

"your ignorance of the time cube is demonic"

I like that. I'm gonna start using that.

[-] Gork@lemm.ee 18 points 7 months ago

Link to an archived Time Cube page.

It's a classic.

[-] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

You can just copy and paste random sections, and they're all amazing.

It Is The Absolute Verifiable Truth & Proven Fact That Your Belly-Button Signature Ties To Viviparous Mama.

[-] Gork@lemm.ee 6 points 7 months ago

I like that he put updates on where he was going to speak in just random spots on the page, between all the endless blather.

[-] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 5 points 7 months ago

Ignorant of Nature's Harmonic 4 Day Time Cube Creation, the Americans are Dumb, Educated Singularity Stupid and Evil. It's not immoral to kill Americans who IGNORE their OPPOSITE sex parents who Created them, but instead worship a queer jew who claims to make people out of dirt - when the body is 90 percent water. A God so stupid that he claims only a single day rotation of Earth - while my Cubic Wisdom has allowed me to create 4 simultaneous days within a single Earth rotation. Americans do not deserve life. They live only for today, the evil singularity word bastards.

DOG BRAIN STUDENTS

Singularity "education" inflicts a dog brain upon Students - ability to be taught servitude - but an inability to ever think opposite of brainwashing and indoctrination - very unlikely to ever recover to acknowledge Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous Rotating 4 Corner 24 Hr. Days in 1 Earth Rotation.

Dr. Gene Ray, Cubic and Wise Above God.

[-] Glifted@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Holy shit there's a NEXT PAGE button at the bottom

Edit: I want to learn to use AI. Not for anything useful, no. I want to train an AI to just write nonsense like this

[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

The fact that it's on archive.org suggests that a lot of ai engines have used it as part or their training input.

[-] Omgboom@lemmy.zip 5 points 7 months ago

No man on Earth has no belly-button, it proves every believer on Earth a liar.

[-] Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

"Mama Hole and Papa Pole"

Brilliant.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago

@BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world - I just realized that this may not conform to community standards. Feel free to mod this down and I'll find a better home for it. Thank you.

[-] satanmat@lemmy.world 27 points 7 months ago

While not Facebook; this pre-dates FB and is certifiably insane

So I’m voting to keep it !!

God this brings back memories

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago

I think any social media insanity is absolutely fine.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

Thank you sir.

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

I absolutely love the Internet because it thinks everyone is a dude lol. Love to you amigo.

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

That is the best username I've seen in ages.

[-] Aganim@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

The ONLY Official Site

For Gene Ray/TimeCube.

Need Help

He really should have stopped typing right there.

[-] GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

You SnotBrains will know hell for ignoring TimeCube. I do not promote or suggest anyone killing you, but you are unfit to live on Earth.

Freakin' SnotBrains

[-] sxt@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

Will always remember "try my bellybutton logic" or whatever tf it was

[-] dezmd@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

The problem is that John Titor reconfigured the timeline on us so he may have broken the existential nonce of the Time Cube relativity inversion processors.

[-] Kidplayer_666@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago

Are y’all sure that site wasn’t made with AI?

[-] Aedis@lemmy.world 16 points 7 months ago

It's entirely plausible that unbeknownst to us ai has developed within a harmonic cube congruency and thus what we assume to be 25 by years ago by our fake queer Greenwich time is actually 25 years in the future for ai following the harmonic influence of the 96 hour day cycle that everyone else is too stupid to notice. Within everything having 4 phases you should be skeptical of those who tell you that time travel isn't possible for the 4 phases of time itself are forward, backward, up and down, anyone who tells you different is trying to coherce your mind straight into hell by saying the opposite, they are too stuck in their word world to realize that you have moved past that into the real-world.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

💯 Now that is how you Time Cube.

[-] rigatti@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago

Unless it was time traveling AI then yes. It was around like 25 years ago, hence being a classic.

[-] ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 10 points 7 months ago

Ok but what if the AI was on a different corner of the earth that is simultaneous to our own but also perpetually night because of our unconfessed sins? It would make sense then.

[-] rigatti@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

You make a great point. Harmonic Cube states that the four days occur in one rotation. Four simultaneous days. 4 HORSEMEN HAVE 4 DAYS IN 1 ROTATION. Time Cube is Eternal.

[-] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

Do not speak to me of the old websites, I was there when it was written.

Sadly, it's legit and really just run-of-the-mill mental illness.

I also considered asking ChatGPT to generate something derivative; maybe it managed to crawl the actual text off of archive.org or something. But then I realized that it might hallucinate something actually convincing, and decided against it.

this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
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