94
submitted 8 months ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/news@lemmy.world
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[-] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 55 points 8 months ago

Two months from now:

LifeWise pastor arrested for child molestation. Says Biden made him do it.

[-] taanegl@lemmy.world 26 points 8 months ago

Local group Concerned Matriarchs LLC is now holding a prayer vigil to get the gay communist demon out of the pastor's penis, who they claim had been infected when accidentally partaking in liberal art.

[-] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 13 points 8 months ago

Concerned Matriarchs LLC spokesperson says female staff are not pedophiles for having sex with underage boys in order the make them straight.

[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

I just wouldn't even be surprised anymore.

[-] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 4 points 8 months ago

Right? wtf is in the water?!

[-] Zorsith 6 points 8 months ago

In Ohio? Literally everything. Our rivers led to Nixon of all people creating the EPA.

[-] seth@lemmy.world 36 points 8 months ago

Christians always seem to advocate for public prayer, going fully against the explicit quote by Jesus in their holy book that specifically instructs them not to pray in public, or in groups. He says word for word how they are supposed to pray, twice...once in Matthew, once in Luke. In Matthew, he even tells them to go do it secretly in a quiet place like the innermost room of their home so no one else sees it.

These dominionists are such assholes.

[-] Barthosw@lemmy.world 32 points 8 months ago
[-] carl_dungeon@lemmy.world 27 points 8 months ago

What a fucking cesspool

[-] Clasm@ttrpg.network 19 points 8 months ago

What other hope do we have,” Penton said, “but to ~~inject the word of God into the hearts of~~ brainwash the next generation?”

-ftfy

[-] TIMMAY@lemmy.world 18 points 8 months ago

fucking religion, always a driving force for good

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 18 points 8 months ago

Not that I want this nation to turn into a theocracy, but when it does, I look forward to the Great Sectarian Wars.

[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 10 points 8 months ago
[-] girlfreddy@lemmy.ca 9 points 8 months ago

Have any one of these chucklefucks asked God if he even wants to be 'back in' public schools?

[-] holycrap@lemm.ee 16 points 8 months ago

Why yes, of course they have! It turns out god conveniently wants all the same things they want and hates all the same people they hate! Isn't it a miracle?

Oh, and he wants money.

[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

I just love how they claim it's not state sponsored. While anyone who doesn't participate doesn't continue classes. They go to the library until the Christian kids come back. The entire school day is structured around their "off-site" prayer.

this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2024
94 points (100.0% liked)

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