I did a quick search and it looks like you are neither required to have a subscription nor share data with them.

My bad, I wasn't clear. You are required to pay a subscription to enable certain features of a Tesla, like autopilot/FSD. Those are simply software updates though, they're not adding new hardware. I don't like that. If I buy a car, I want all of the features of the car to come with that initial price. Buying a car and then learning I have to spend more money for a particular feature already built into the car is not a satisfactory experience.

privacy concerns and subscriptions are not the first thing that jump to my mind when I think about printer sucking...you do?

Absolutely. Some of the main gripes I and others on Lemmy have with modern printers are things like:

1. vendor lock in with microchipped ink cartridges - if a 3rd party has made better/cheaper ink compliant with my printer, who is HP/Brother/etc to say I can't use it?
2. ink subscription programs - a lot of new printers nowadays aggressively advertise ink subscription programs. But I have enough subscriptions to track, and I don't go through ink fast enough to warrant having it sent to me monthly or whatever. However, buying ink outside of their subscription costs nearly as much as the original printer itself.
3. Internet-connected printers that collect info - I don't need HP/Brother/etc remotely running diagnostics, checking my ink levels, making sure I'm using the "right" ink, or locking me out of my device if I'm not using it "correctly". It's my device, I paid for it, I'll use it how I see fit.