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this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2024
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She is 27 and still living at home where the article describes the dad as her caretaker. She has both an autism and ADHD diagnosis, but Dad thinks all her physical symptoms derive from her making them up, because he believes her to have an undiagnosed mental illness. I'm just one person that believes they are on the spectrum (with ADHD), but physical symptoms are real. Having a caretaker that refuses to believe you is not going to make for a great life. Especially depending on your symptoms, which again because she is 27 and still at home with a parental caretaker, I'm guessing that they are pretty involved.
Also, these are often both genetic and passed down from a parent, so where is mom in this scenario? And might that also be playing a part in this?
Anyhoo, my 2 cents.
Yeah, you clearly understand the situation better than her fucking parents, from the shitty news stories.
Chill out, this isn't reddit
Not to completely shit on dad here either, it could well be that he is also on the spectrum and has lived in an environment that has instilled in him that you just ignore your needs because that makes you "normal". That is why I was wondering about mom, as it is more than likely one of them is on the spectrum also and perhaps just never diagnosed and their child being diagnosed has unlocked some shit.
Anyways I'm not a psychiatrist, just going through my own adult realization of things, and it's not easy.
Dad could be exacerbating symptoms.
You would think that when the person you're taking care of would rather kill themselves than spend another day with you, you'd notice that you're doing something very, VERY wrong.
Holy shit is that is a very bad take!
You don't know a thing about this guy. And to put all her pain on him without knowing shit about either of them is completely out of line.
And it is possible to be surrounded by love and still have a void that cannot be filled. Just knowing you're "different" can be a mind job in and of itself. But making this all about the dad diminishes her feelings, her pain, her guilt.
/rant
Except yes I totally can make it about them because having a support network that produces negative results is why this sort of thing happens.
I'm going to play the otherside argument: if there are underlying mental health issues you can sometimes do everything right and the loved one isn't able to receive it or process it without a negative filter and they want to leave the world anyway.
We had this happen with a family member. Validation, love, therapies, medicine changes, activities. Their brain just was not working right and thought our love etc were "faked" so you make them less guilty. Had MAID been an option they would have chosen it.
They had a suicide attempt that 99% should have killed them. From extreme trauma their personality was fractured, as it came back together there was a eureka moment for them.
They occassionally struggle with bad days when idle, but overall they say they can't believe they were trapped in that mindspace and couldn't see how much they were valued and loved. They, and we, are thankful for this second opportunity.
Not everyone can be "fixed" or their suffering eliminated, but every single case is unique...and family want to hope that person see the otherside.
But I will 100% vote in favour of people having this choice, because if somebody lives to 90 and everyday was hell then that is not living anyway