61
Is this actually dysphoria? (self.mtf)
submitted 9 months ago by Blahaj_Blast to c/mtf
13 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So, I'm baby trans. I'm exploring, at what feels like a glacial pace, but feel the urge to do something more. More, different clothes, idk. **But ** I think I have this fear of looking ridiculous with something and just hating myself and getting depressed, so I just don't.

I was thinking I was "afraid of feeling dysphoric", but today I started wondering, it's that fear actually the dysphoria?

Bonus thought; the wanting to explore, but not knowing what to do, feels a little bit like when you have an itch on your back and try to get someone to help but they more of chase it around until you just give up. It's like that. My gender is itchy and I can't figure out how to scratch it ๐Ÿคฃ

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] RadicalEagle@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago

I can't give you any advice for your specific experience, but I know for me I've been a lot happier with myself after I realized that just because I think other people might judge me doesn't mean I have to judge myself the same way. It's up to you to look the way that makes you feel good, and no one except yourself can really tell you what that should be.

If you feel the need to change something but you can't figure out what you want to change I recommend meditating on it and being honest with yourself. A lot of times my indecision has been the result of cognitive dissonance that I didn't fully understand until years later when I actually started consciously unpacking my values.

[-] Blahaj_Blast 11 points 9 months ago

Can you give an example about the cognitive dissonance in this context? I definitely partially blame choice paralysis, but I think combined it's a little bit of, I have a vague idea of what I want, but don't know how to get there.

And my stupid "well if I don't know the plan I don't know where to start" thing ๐Ÿ˜… I know it's a thing and I've been working with my therapist on it but still

[-] RadicalEagle@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

I can 100% relate to the feeling of "if I don't know the plan I don't know where to start".

The conclusion I came to is that it's impossible to know if there is a "plan". But hypothetically if there was a plan, what would you want it to look like? For me that plan would be "I'll do the things I think are right. I'll do the things that make me feel good (enjoying life, helping other people enjoy their lives) and when I mess up I'll forgive myself and have faith that others will forgive me."

[-] Blahaj_Blast 4 points 9 months ago

That is a really helpful idea! I mean, it is basically just take a first step and see how it goes, but the way you framed it made my brain "get it" ๐Ÿ˜… I just gotta get an idea of the next couple steps ND then figure the rest out, then it'll feel more like a path instead of blindly wandering one step at a time.

[-] RadicalEagle@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Yeah for sure. So I grew up around a bunch of people who thought tattoos were inappropriate. And because everyone said they were inappropriate, I grew up believing they were inappropriate.

It wasn't until later in life I realized I actually thought tattoos were cool and the only reason I didn't have any is because I never actually made a choice based on my opinion. I was living based on someone else's.

(Or replace "tattoos" with whatever you in particular feel bad/stressed about.)

this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
61 points (100.0% liked)

Transfem

3465 readers
221 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
LadyAutumn
ada