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this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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Sex dick? Really Oklahoma? Are you guys OK?
They want to ban porn because it might tempt those who desperately want to be one of the straights.
But seriously, that congressman is so scared of being gay that they want everyone else to give up porn so they won't be challenged by easy dick.
Idk I'm more concerned about Minnesota with tickling
It's the most polite form of sadism dontchaknow.
It's... demented
Really living up to the shape of the state borders
Those poor, lonely Alaskans.
I like that of all the states, Hawaii and Utah remain on-brand.
Nevada too
The Dakotas sure are a pair.
It's so dry there. They crave moisture.
So lonely they can’t even imagine porn with two human beings in it 😭
I'm in Wyoming. There's only ten of us here. The goth search was mine. The rest didn't bother with PornHub after I explained that "bear sex" wasn't going to give them the result they were expecting.
Idaho's "dildo ride" absolutely tracks. I have been wearing a Bad Dragon cap for weeks (it's an amazing hat) and it was a ~50 year old woman on the Idaho side of the mountain who recognized the logo.
EDIT: I am not joking. The caps are sick.
https://bad-dragon.com/products/caps
Damn, that IS a killer hat. Almost tempted to get one myself. But having no other actual affiliation with BD, it would make things super, super awkward once someone actually recognizes the logo.
Just smile, wink and walk away. I don't own any of their proper products but I wasn't going to pass up on a hat that nice, at that price.
I mean it can get them the result they're expecting if they use the furry tag.
I am a guy whose proclivities are such that I'm probably never using a Bad Dragon. Still, I need this hat.
Lmao.
Sex dick.
Also, damn Arkansas. You nasty.
I'm proud to represent Illinois instead!
Nudist for Oregon and Sensual Sex for Washington make the PNW seem so wholesome and well adjusted. I wonder what BC is.
Sex dick. Jk it's apparently Asian, here's the link for canada (NSFW obviously)
"Nova Scotia likes “facesitting”."
Welp, I won't be watching Oak Island the same way again...
I live in Oregon. You get neo-hippies or neo-Nazis, no in-between.
Hawaii: Hawaiian.
So they're just walking around with their kink/preference in their faces all day? Sweeeeeeet.
Only about 21% of the Hawaiian population is actually native Hawaiians.
Wasn't it recently that we hit the mark where more native Hawaiians were living outside of Hawaii than were on the islands? It's sad how the way their economy and obviously real estate is set up makes it difficult to live on the islands.
Is the car sex in Arizona because it's taboo to touch anything on the inside of a car in the summer? Like instead of the thrill of maybe getting caught that exhibitionists get, it's the danger of accidentally burning yourself on the metal clasp of a seat belt?
Having lived there I will call that "plausible"
The inside of a car in Arizona is so hot!
*Sees people in Indiana search for 'chubby.'*
*Looks around.*
Yep, that tracks.
Texans like sausage gravy all over some biscuits.
Wtf North Dakota. I refuse to believe there are multiple people up there typing "loud wet sex" into their search bars.
Classic Ohio
Shout out to Colorado. I'm wondering why Ohio's is "small dick" lol.
I live in CO and a guy once (well, several times for months) told me I should be a dominatrix, not realizing my disdain was mostly exclusive to him, not men in general, but now I'm thinking I missed out on a lucrative career option. Well dang.
Is it ever too late to cash in on being a dominatrix?
No, I'm asking for real; I have no idea.
I'm not actually sure, but I'll be 40 this year and I'm tired. I think I'd just end up being like, "yeah you were super bad, disobeying me and shit, your punishment is to fold the 4 loads of laundry I haven't dealt with this week." Also, there are a lot of things that can be dangerous in the hands of an amateur, and while I'm not opposed to hurting someone who wants it, I wouldn't feel comfortable until I'd done a lot of training and practice, and ehhhh. I'd rather do other things these days.
@agent_flounder @frickineh I knew someone who made real good money running a dungeon. It was legal because there was no sex involved. Just guys willing to fork over money so they could be abused.
Relevant xkcd
I respect you, North Dakota
Lmao @ big ass cop in DC
You know what, New Mexico, not gonna tease you, you’ve got a high native population and it probably does suck rarely seeing folks that look like you in porn. Same for you Hawaii.
Actually I feel like in a less sympathetic way Indiana gets the same treatment.
What the fuck is going on in Tennessee and Ohio?
...Smoking?
It's a fetish. Some people enjoy seeing someone smoke while fucking and some people actually enjoy smoke being blown on them.
Virginia is also a giant tobacco producer.
https://encyclopediavirginia.org/entries/tobacco-in-colonial-virginia/
Actually looking at their other stats are shocking. Like I’m actually really surprised with how much lesbian content blows other searches out of the water women are significantly more likely to search it than men. Same for trans porn.
Also props to milfs for being the number 2 search term. Mom bods really are having their day