Update: In light of the programming.dev update here https://programming.dev/post/8399272, the defederation is no longer going ahead.
However, something more needs to be said. Even here on Blahaj, some of our users took issue with the choice to defederate over this issue.
So I would like to give some background and context.
Blahaj Zone exists, because both Kaity and I left mainstream social media to escape transphobia. Reddit, with its lackluster approach to fighting transphobia, and twitter, with its outright celebration of transphobia pushed us here, to the fediverse, and to create Blahaj Zone and Blahaj Lemmy.
To that end, we will continue to treat transphobia seriously. Our goal is to create a space where gender diverse folk can exist and let our defenses down a little, where we don't have to worry about getting dragged in to an argument with a transphobe, or a bad faith actor "just asking questions".
If you are looking for a more reddit like experience, where in the interest of increased engagement, we let low level transphobia slide, and push responsibility for dealing with it on to community mods and individual users, then you will likely not be happy with blahaj going forward. If you choose to stay here, understand that we may defederate again in the future over similar issues.
The choice is yours.
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It has recently been brought to my attention that the lead admin of programming.dev is engaging in ongoing transphobia.
You can see the conversation in question here https://programming.dev/comment/6131539
For that reason we will be defederating from programming.dev in 48 hours.
There are only three communities on that instance used by small number of our users, so this won't have a big impact, but if you are one of those users, you will need to use an alt account on another instance if you wish to access the communities.
I get that, I really do. As I said previously, belonging to a minority group myself I don't see it as my responsibility to teach everyone who's uninformed. I'm definitely not saying anyone should accept any kind of comment with a smile, but there are times when I do do that both on and offline if I feel the comment in question was genuine ignorance rather than malice. I realise that that is my choice and doesn't reflect on how anyone else handles situations like this and that as Admin of Blahaj you have a duty of care to all its users.
I guess I feel that allies (and I mean that in a general sense, not specifically trans allies or disability allies or queer allies etc) are increasingly rare and if there's an opportunity to alleviate someone's genuine ignorance, its a chance worth taking. But I also realise there's a possibility I'm being naive.
When you see enough of it you can generally tell within the first couple interactions whether or not someone is being willfully ignorant vs genuinely ignorant. People who are being genuinely ignorant tend not to dig their feet in and double down when told something is offensive or harmful towards a marginalized group.
You're certainly free to try and educate people, but trying to educate someone who has already made up their mind is a Sisyphean task.
Yep, all true.
My own reaction to the Admin's first comment was 'ignorance' which then devolved as the thread devolved.
Although from own experience, even genuinely ignorant people do a fair bit of digging in at first too. Challenging someone's opinion is difficult. But you're right, there does come a point when you realise you're flogging a dead horse.