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this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2023
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Transfem
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Don’t expect to get gendered correctly by strangers until you’ve been on HRT for a while and are actually confident in how you look
On one hand, that would probably make me not want to come out until everything is perfect, but on the other hand... Yeah, that's not healthy either, is it
Come out to those you love and trust. They usually get it right.
I think I'd want to test the waters first to feel fully comfortable. I don't know how though
You just gotta risk it for the brisket. Go out somewhere dressed up as yourself and see how it goes.
It’s funny talking about this now. I’m fully transitioned and have basically put any maleness out of my mind. I’m very lucky not to ever have anyone clock me
Alright. I will struggle to find the courage, even though I keep telling myself that I don't care what other people think.
It'll be obvious eventually anyway, so the smart thing would be to have the people who'll support me sooner rather than later.
I don't know what to tell them though, so let me overthink for a few days first. Still not 100% sure about being trans, but the new name I've tried doesn't feel wrong, so there's that.
I should probably just start with saying that being a guy is not what I want. The people who I can be comfortable with this information with will be a big help in figuring out the rest.
Did I mention overthinking yet?
I don’t think you’re overthinking. This is a very big decision! You’re fundamentally changing how you present yourself to the world. You’re becoming an entirely new person built up from the pieces of who you used to be. It’s huge. Time spent thinking on this is time well spent.
You’re doing an amazing job.
That genuinely made me tear up a little
Thank you. It means a lot to me.
That actually makes a lot of sense. Depressing, but understandable.
It just sets you up for disappointment. Boymoding is important especially if you live in an area that’s unsafe for trans people.
Tempering your expectations and avoiding the obsession over your Dysphoria is important. You’ll get there in enough time. I think most trans people end up passing eventually, and most of those who don’t usually still end up happy.