81
Came out to my mother today (self.mtf)
submitted 6 days ago by Domi to c/mtf
18 comments fedilink hide all child comments

We were meeting for a catch up, last few times I saw her I was doing a kindof unconvincing boymode but this time I just showed up as myself and dropped the news on her.

She was pretty great all things considered. Huge relief. Feel like I can move on now. I'm out with all my friends, I'm out at work, so she was the main hurdle I needed to get past before I could just start living my life freely. I'm really glad it's done.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] compostgoblin@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 6 days ago

Congratulations! I’m glad it went so well for you! 🥰

If you don’t mind sharing, what did you actually say? I desperately want to come out to my family and just be done with it all, but every time I try to think about how I’d do it, I just have no idea how I’d even start. If you want to keep it private though, totally get it, and no worries at all!

[-] Domi 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I'm happy to talk about it but I suppose it all depends on your specific relationships and what your famy members are like. I had some specific worries about my mum but I wasn't worried she'd be mad or disown me so I started from a place of relative safety.

I agonised about sending the news via text before we met up, with all the happy pictures of me etc, so it would be less of a shock. But I decided that I didn't want her to have all that in her head without me properly talking to her for a while, in case she span out about it.

So I decided to just show up dressed like I usually dress now, and just hit her with it in person. I tried to be kindof funny in the opening line, but she was just kindof stunlocked and being really weird. So I just said "you realise what's happening here right? This is me coming out to you as trans".

I knew she'd be worried about the medical side so I talked her through how I was being safe with my medication, getting blood tests regularly etc. I talked about how I need her to allow me to come out in my own time to the rest of the family and not to out me to anyone and she agreed to that. I told her about how transition has cured a lifelong depression, how it saved my life and how I actually want to live to old age for the first time in my life now.

I made it clear that this is what I need and that I will never stop or go back and she just took that on board. I also told her how I've been the target of near constant street harassment, sexual harassment, violent threats, slurs and abuse every time that I leave the house. Because I want her to know how bad things are for us in this country and actually feel angry about it. I told her that despite all this I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. She was very worried for me but also understood that the alternative (living in the closet) was not an option.

On the way home I noticed she'd changed the name of our group chat with my girlfriend and her, and changed the picture to one of the new ones I sent her. She did that without me asking. I'm very proud of her for that.

[-] compostgoblin@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 5 days ago

Thank you for sharing! The bit at the end about changing the group name and photo made my heart glow a little 😊 Your mom sounds pretty cool

this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2026
81 points (100.0% liked)

Transfem

5747 readers
241 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
LadyAutumn
ada
ada@piefed.blahaj.zone
will_steal_your_username