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New Vinted outfit
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
Omggg, girlies get yourselves a Vinted account. It's so worth it! It's like an online thrift store, sorta...
The prices are really manageable, since the clothing isn't brand new, the sizes seem pretty consistent (at least for me) and you can always return anything that you don't like/doesn't fit you.
Omg, I love this outfit so much! It's so casual I could actually wear it in public. Even though it shows my horribly broad shoulders, I don't even care anymore 😭.
Highly recommend Vinted.
Adding a picture from the back for backwards compatibility purposes.
Do I? Thank you!
I kept measuring myself because of brainworms.
I guess I do have an okay waist-to-hip ratio for an AMAB...
If you keep calling yourself an AMAB you'll keep seeing yourself as one.
You'll never measure those brain worms away. It's like trying to put out a fire by smothering it in paper. You've got to stop looking for flaws and start looking for what you like in the mirror.
If you're too brain rotted for that a toxic trick is to start looking for reasons cis people don't pass. Once you're good at it it's easier to break free by accepting anyone can convince themselves anyone is trans or cis by looking at them
That is...brutal. Does that actually work?
I don't think I'm too brain-rotted...yet. I'll try to stop nitpicking flaws about myself I guess.
Thanks 🩷
It can work, but it's toxic and can make you a worse person. Also it won't work if you aren't working to ensure it's temporary. You'll often be focusing on other people's insecurities in a way you'd hate for them to do to you. And it's really easy to backfire because you're practicing negativity.
You've got this sis, you can do it the healthy way.
A healthy trick is to make a point to say something you like about your body whenever you catch yourself beating yourself up about it, especially while looking in the mirror. And it can't be backhanded or mean to other trans women. None of that "I have wide hips for an AMAB" crap. "I have decent hips" is better. "My boobs are still growing and I'm happy about that" is totally fine. But stuff like "I have great skin" or "I have beautiful eyes" is better.
You'll see what you look for.
That just sounds mean, incredibly toxic and like creating more negativity in the world, which is NOT what I'm aiming for.
That's exactly what I don't want. If someone were to do that to me, openly, I wouldn't be too happy about it. I don't feel comfortable doing that to other people, not even in my own head.
Might be arrogant of me to say this, but it's not really in my nature to try and actively be mean to people.
I will admit, that was a pretty mean statement by itself. I didn't really mean it that way, but I see that I did wrong.
I am sorry if I offended anyone. I'll try to do better next time.
Oh absolutely, the technique is one I think I first learned about as part of helping folks who've spent too much time in spaces like /tttt/ and have on some level accepted the (false) idea that no trans people can possibly pass or are so deep in the "anti hugbox" portion of the trans community that they're already about that toxic anyways.
When someone starts getting obsessed with the measuring tape it can be hard for a stranger to see where they are considering the dark holes some folks fall into. Sorry if I came off as besmirching your character.
It's good to not let your nature accept meanness. You just gotta learn to treat yourself with the same kindness you want to show others. And yeah unfortunately our deepest insecurities, especially early on, can lead us to unthinkingly say some stuff that might hit each other.
And there is a nontoxic variant of the toxic trick. When you see a cis woman with a trait you dislike in yourself notice it and acknowledge that if she has that trait and doesn't look too masculine for it maybe you don't look too masculine either. Accept that women come in all shapes and sizes, yours included.
This will be hard for me, but it's a valuable thing to learn, kind of a "lesson" I guess.
Thank you, kind stranger. I'll take that to heart
im so jelly of them
oh yeah btw, large shoulders do not necessarily be a problem i think. large chest can be very attractive even IMO if you use it wisely. what's more important is how you use it. some women will move their body in crazy ways that look really good, while not having an especially fem physique otherwise.