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[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 260 points 5 days ago

Maybe the dude was just... you know.

Poor.

Came from an environment that was usually a mess, chaotic, disordered, and he was genuienly impressed by how simple things, in order, can give a significant sense of safety and stability.

Maybe he'd never seen that before, maybe he had no model of a tidy and peaceful living space.

The same scenario could happen with anyone, of any sex or gender.

Man, broad societal levels of narcissism are just off the fucking charts these days... its the literal opposite of solidarity, of empathy.

[-] EggInDisguise 89 points 5 days ago

Growing up my house was always trashed. Parents with depression and full time jobs don't leave much time and energy for cleaning up, and there's only so much children without guidance can do.

So once I had my own defined space, it was basically minimalist to expedite cleaning. I didn't start getting more stuff, even clothes, until my partner moved in.

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 4 days ago

Me growing up, it wasn't quite that bad for myself, but some of my neighbors were from... way more fucked up families.

They had basically this exact same 'Wow.' moment, just... coming over, and seeing that... order was possible, things could be put basically back in place after use, etc.

They had no previous concept of it.

I remember going over to one of their houses once and literally stepping in dogshit, inside.

They just... forgot to let the dog out, I guess. Regularly enough that this was annoying but basically normal.

[-] EggInDisguise 25 points 4 days ago

Depression is a bitch, and that makes you not want to clean. Then the grossness makes you more depressed.

Never ending loop.

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 4 days ago

I know.

I've been there.

I did eventually get better... but... it really really sucks.

[-] Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 67 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Or maybe he was just being nice? I can't imagine being invited to friend's new house and not giving compliments unless im like worried about them moving into an unsafe situation.

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Sure, maybe he was being performatively praising when he didn't actually care that much at all about the home's decor itself, but wanted to affirm the resident's decor choice regardless.

Aka 'being nice'.

Maybe a million different possible things.

Why do you imagine its a new house, like the resident just moved there?

You could just... be going to someone's home for the first time. Maybe they've lived there for years, maybe they just moved in, who knows?

My point here is that there's a lot of additional context required for your interpretation. Your interpretation also manufactures and then ascribes an intent.

My interpretation only requires that men who were raised poor exist, and does not manufacture or ascribe an intent.

[-] wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 4 days ago

What a bunch of argumentative bullshit. Have fun being contrarian. ๐Ÿ™„

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 4 days ago

Its analysis, not an argument.

With which the author agrees.

[-] wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 4 days ago

Oh, you brought a shovel? That tracks.

[-] Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Okay so maybe it wasn't a new home, but it was their first time seeing it. What difference does it make?

But no, you're right imagining someone's traumatic upbringing is a much smaller stretch.

[-] wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 4 days ago

Don't feed the trolls, neighbor. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝ

[-] Rooster326@programming.dev 2 points 4 days ago

You don't need to be poor to learn to catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

[-] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago

Unfortunately, flies are more attracted to vinegar, so the metaphor doesn't work.

this post was submitted on 27 May 2026
1199 points (100.0% liked)

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