16
Why some trans women defend men so much? (lemmy.zip)
submitted 1 week ago by choihanna@lemmy.zip to c/mtf
36 comments fedilink hide all child comments

As another trans woman it has been so hard for me to connect with other trans women because of this.

I'm very critical of men and the way they behave in our society, and my cis girl friends and gay male friends almost always agree.

Now every time I bring this up to trans friends they jump to defend men, girl why are you defending men when they're literally the ones killing trans women and cis women at exponential rates and you're telling me that men don't have a problem??

I genuinely don't understand that need they have to defend men...

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] brookedSmile 15 points 1 week ago

Just adding my two cents in here to say that allies can come in all shapes and sizes, and we need all the allies we can get. Im also not above calling out men for their terrible behavior.

The patriarchy exists for everybody and affects every single person, no matter your gender race sexual orientation etc etc. For men this normally takes the toxic masculinity form, where feelings are discouraged, and caring for yourself is for soft men. If you welcome a cis man into a space where its ok to feel what you feel, therapy for example, theres a better chance that that man will develop empathy for others because someone else had empathy for him.

For the time i was pretending, a common theme amongst men is isolation, echo chambers, and labeling fear. Much the same as it is now. They gravitate towards people who think like them, because for men approaching a group of people or just a single person is threatening. And its a position earned by other people in their gender.

Yes men have started 99.99% of wars. Yes men are directly or indirectly responsible for almost everything bad in our world. But kevin and thomas down the street didnt make those things happen.

Dividing is whats destroying us. Being open and inclusive is the name of the game in my mind. People are just people and they make mistakes. If theyre open to learning or being better to others and the world then im willing to let them learn.

Dont further the culture war for them. Be open to humanity as a whole, not just your favorite parts. And punch nazis!

this post was submitted on 20 May 2026
16 points (100.0% liked)

Transfem

5555 readers
59 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
LadyAutumn
ada
ada@piefed.blahaj.zone