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Why some trans women defend men so much?
(lemmy.zip)
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this post was submitted on 20 May 2026
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Transfem
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I think you’re being rude to your gay male friends. It reads like you’re either denying their masculinity or erasing their experience. Why are you asking here the reasons your trans friends (I assume trans women) defend men? Haven’t they told you already? "Men" is very wide, maybe you’re not thinking of the same ones. Maybe your friends remember the experience of being assigned male and bear remnants of sympathy. Maybe some of the human beings they care for are men. I’m not denying plenty of men are scary as fuck. It’s the main reason it took me a while to realize how hot the kind ones can be.
Have you considered fighting the patriarchy? It’s a worthwhile nuance. Lots of good work to be done there.
Let's be for real, gay men are less misogynistic than straight cis men.
Only straight cis men benefit from the patriarchy that's why gay men get it, they've suffered the backlash.
Now straight men are seeing the world change for equality and they feel threatened to lose their privileges.
Gay men absolutely benefit from the patriarchy. Gay male couples on average earn substantially more than the average straight couple, while lesbian couples make substantially less than the average straight couple.
Do gay men benefit in all the same ways as straight men? No. But they do benefit.
You know what? I get it. You're venting. This is a safe a space for trans women and I may be queer but I have no business questioning your experience.
You could word this differently, say the same thing and get zero pushback from your friends or the community imho. Not every day is a good day for wording things carefully though.