hi, so i had this one friend “allison" in middle school from 6th grade, when she came here, to 8th. i'm kinda wondering whether i should, well, befriend her, or take the hint. i'm autistic so i often can't take hints even if i am a good communicator and an extrovert.

allison and i go way back, being friends ever since middle school orientation day when we started chatting and she only trusted me when we were seated together in science class. she was a little blunt and easily annoyed, though, so i started not to like her and even got jealous of her because she was bi at the time and started dating my at the time crush “lia”.

well, after my crush on lia officially faded towards the end of seventh grade, i started developing feelings for ALLISON in eighth grade when several nights i had dreams about her and ended up unable to think of anyone else but her, get super giddy when i did see her, and had fantasies of being a hero that would protect her from bullies at school back when she was only with the semi-popular kids and got bullied for being an anime fan.

our friendship grew more and more apart when she started calling me a creepy stalker and running away when i’d say hi to her, scream at me some days and be super kind and helpful the next, and sometimes she’d even say we should get married and i could be her husband, but other days she’d reject anything i did, said, or gave to her. she eventually stopped hanging out with me along with the other girls in our group due to them finding out i was autistic, cementing their dislike they already had for me. i knew they disliked me, i didn’t know why, but they were the only people i had as friends that would “let me” hang out with them.

on the last day of eighth grade, she smiled at me and asked how my year was and we sorta made up, but she’s shy and kind of a dry texter and now she’s one of the popular-ish girls, best friends with my biggest eighth grade bully (another popular girl who happens to be homophobic while allison was super in denial about being bi and saying it never happened and also having internalized homophobia), and i asked her if she had snapchat so we could talk more and she said she doesn’t use it. she doesn’t text first nor does she add anything to the conversation so idk if she’s just being polite or what, she will be super dry like mentioned. i don’t even like her anymore like that, by the way.

like, i might be like “hi! how’s school?” bc idk how to start a conversation, and she might say “it’s ok/it’s fine” and not even add anything like “how’s it for you?” so either she’s bad at keeping a convo or she doesn’t like me, and i can’t tell how to start the convo or what to do at all. HELP??