Sorry Ukraine but you are going to need to give up the rest of the Donbas, we all know you would lose it to the overwhelming military might of russia anyways.

Oh also, you are kicking russia's ass too hard can you slow down? Maybe just don't beat them as badly? It is impacting all of our economies and we are so very fragile like we have incorrectly narrativized you to be.

Sincerely,

Your "Allies"

Trump always saw the Iran War as an opportunity to fire all the Tomahawaks he was being pressured into giving Ukraine and to take pressure off of his daddy more broadly.