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this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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AskBeehaw
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I think online there's a tendency for communities focused on mental health to consist of more people who need help than those who are in a position to really give it.
Not that I don't think there's value in online communities of people supporting eachother deliberately, but I think it can sometimes be like two people each with a broken leg helping one another.
A person who is in a good state of mental health and equipped to help those who need it isn't necessarily going to be looking for mental health support communities unless it's a deliberate calling they have, in which case they probably do it professionally anyway.
This is why I think the go to suggestion ends up being to find a therapist, or someone in your real life that you trust if available. It's the ideal, if available.
As far as online support, I think the best way is to go to where the mentally healthy people are and form a more organic support network. Try and make friends by doing things online (ex. Participating in hobby forums and discords, joining gaming communities etc.) because then you are more likely to be surrounded by group of average people who can maybe help prop you up indirectly as you form friendships.
I only suggest this because looking back on the most positive and supportive experiences I've had online during low points in my life they were with friends I'd met through online communities. Talking in IRC channels, forum DMs, steam chat, discord etc. I was able to lean on those people a bit to get me past the worst of it.
I see what you're saying, and that's actually one of the things that inspired this post. I say this in the most endearing way possible, but your first statement describes all of the discord servers I'm in tbh. There are a lot of people hurting, and a major shortage of resources to cope, especially for those who are unemployed or on the lower end of the income scale. I've even opened my inbox and ears, but like you said, I'm certainly in no position to give help beyond actively listening and being present.
For certain, truly stable, healthy people do seem to be the exception rather than the rule. And I don't mean to say it should be all on them to help those who need it, there's value in everyone doing what little they can where they can even if they're struggling themselves.
Listening and being present is helpful, at least to me. Therapy is itself a way of getting people to sort of explore and analyze themselves, the therapist is there mainly to gently prod you along and give you a more objective, outside perspective when necessary that's detatched from the normal kind of social dance of trying to hide our vulnerabilities and pain. We can sometimes be that for one another to differing degrees.
Perhaps then it's more about everyone picking their moment -- when you're strong help others, when you're feeling weak look for those you can lean on until it passes.
I dunno, seems like a lot of words to more or less be saying nothing, lol. I'm figuring it out as much as anyone else.
No, this is actually thought provoking. I personally find it hard to make firm statements about myself and who I am and what I'm like because we are such complex, dynamic creatures. I even have a hard time with questions like, "Are you an introvert or extrovert?"