For certain, truly stable, healthy people do seem to be the exception rather than the rule. And I don't mean to say it should be all on them to help those who need it, there's value in everyone doing what little they can where they can even if they're struggling themselves.

Listening and being present is helpful, at least to me. Therapy is itself a way of getting people to sort of explore and analyze themselves, the therapist is there mainly to gently prod you along and give you a more objective, outside perspective when necessary that's detatched from the normal kind of social dance of trying to hide our vulnerabilities and pain. We can sometimes be that for one another to differing degrees.

Perhaps then it's more about everyone picking their moment -- when you're strong help others, when you're feeling weak look for those you can lean on until it passes.

I dunno, seems like a lot of words to more or less be saying nothing, lol. I'm figuring it out as much as anyone else.