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complicated feelings (self.mtf)
submitted 2 years ago by Blahaj_Blast to c/mtf
34 comments fedilink hide all child comments

This was originally posted as a comment under an image in 196,but due to the popularity of 196 I decided to move it to a (Hopefully) less federally public space, due to harassment concerns.

The image was a post saying,

I have so much love in my heart for trans girls like. girls girls girls literally omg youre a GIRL ISNT IT WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!! any girl who's been like wish was a girl" and then found out they actually ARE a girl is a precious jewel. I love girls

I love the idea of this, and I'm happy people can feel that way, but deep down inside me, I feel like I haven't "earned" the right to consider the possibility of calling myself a girl/woman.

People afab put up with so much shit and since I haven't felt that side of it it's like trying to be a part of a group that sees you as the enemy trying to act like one of them, you know? That may be extreme but I'm not good at words so that's the best way I can think to phrase the feeling.

Anyone else feel this way?

I will add that I have known and worked with several ftm trans people and don't really have the same feelings the other way around. Basically something "you seem like a dude as far as I can tell/am aware/concerned"

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[-] aaro@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

internalized transphobia does hit comrade but you are a girl cat-trans

We wouldn't call a cis woman any less of a woman if she never had that past of being subjected to the violence of patriarchy, and that aside, as a trans woman you have suffered the violence of the patriarchy in a way unique to womanhood. The thing that makes you a woman is that you are your truest self when you confidently align with womanhood, and however you choose to align with womanhood, you are your fullest, happiest, most authentic, and most alive self when doing so, even if you feel like you don't have your bearings quite yet and you're on unfamiliar ground for a bit.

You're literally so valid and I have so much love for you and if you aren't in touch with what it takes for you to feel that in your heart yet then I hope me feeling that you're valid is enough for the both of us trans-heart

[-] Blahaj_Blast 9 points 2 years ago

Thanks for the kind words!

I'm beginning to realize I have a few unrealized internalized things going on.

this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
42 points (100.0% liked)

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