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What's the most common issue you see in the dating pool?
(piefed.blahaj.zone)
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this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2026
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Abuse. So many people I've dated were abusers. It's absolutely rampant in the trans community.
Sadly I can back this up with my own experiences. Both my current girlfriend and I both went through an abusive relationship with a trans woman in the past year.
Part of the problem is that we don't have many elders in the community to model proper behaviour. They were murdered. Murdered by inaction on the AIDS crisis, by the gay panic defence, by lack of access to healthcare. The average new person in the community is a 20 year old getting advice on proper behaviour from other 20 year olds. Now that's great for validating their gender identity, but it's not so good for teaching respect in a relationship. We've got a bunch of traumatised kids making horrible mistakes and doubling down on them.
I'm a dv outreach worker and I've read a fuckton of research into LGBT DA. It's waaaayyyyy worse than people think it is, and trans+ people suffering it are unsurprisingly far less likely to ask for help. The abuse is often targeted on them being trans as well, verbal comments, outing, destroying chest binders etc... or blaming their behaviour on the effects of their transition. It's really awful
Part of the problem is that our true names are often different to our legal names, and we often have relationships online. So in that situation, there's very little the police and the courts can do about abuse. Now, I don't believe the police and courts are an effective way of preventing crime, but they're often the best we have. Which means trans people in online relationships don't face very many consequences for doing crimes. Thus, one of the many causes of the problem.
Yep!