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finding a name (self.mtf)
submitted 1 year ago by deranged_physicist to c/mtf
15 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So I’ve been struggling for months to find a name that clicks with me. I keep stumbling on names which feel like the one, then a few minutes to a few days later the name loses its sway on me. I feel like I just have to finally pick something so I can move on with my life, but I’m really not having much success. I keep telling myself that I can change it again later if I end up hating the one I pick, but it’s hard enough to get people to change how they address me once. It’s weird because I’m very infrequently this indecisive, but this choice has me really circling the drainpipe. Idk how to find one that speaks to me which I don’t feel like I’ll regret. I’m really feeling for my parents having to name me in the first place now—this shit hard lol

Did anyone else have this experience? How did your name come to you? Does anyone have any advice for me?

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[-] LadyAutumn 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Honestly it was never a magical moment for me, but my name is my name and it now fits me so well I wonder if having the name itself didn't influence me in some way.

It just takes time and trying names out :) I tried a couple names initially, but none of them felt right. Inevitably after a few days I would see how it didn't feel right to me and then go back to scouring baby name websites. Then one day I read it on a list of names and I just couldn't stop thinking about how cool and unique and eye catching that name was to me. It made me think of all the things I wanted to be, the person I wanted others to see me as. Everyone in my life who I had been trying names out with immediately perked up when I told them about this new name I wanted to try. Its like intuitively they all knew this was the name, that that name was meant to be mine. At the time I wasn't sure but it stuck very quickly and looking back on it years later I know for sure that I made the right choice. I never even decided firmly that that name would be my name, it just stuck and I never tried to change it again. Before long it was how I named myself in my thoughts even.

My best advice is honestly to keep trying. Tell your friends to use your new name with you, maybe even some online friends or like a discord server or something too. It's a process of trial and error and I don't know that there's any specific method to it. Finding our names is kinda like finding our identities in the first place, it can be messy and confusing and it can take some time. Explore different names with people you trust and assess how you feel about the different names you try. I hope this was all able to help in some way :)

this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2023
43 points (100.0% liked)

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