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submitted 2 days ago by Kayday@lemmy.world to c/mtf

[seeking input from people who use female restrooms]

Hello! I have been using women's restrooms for some time now. Tonight however, will be the first time that I will be going out with some girlfriends where public toilets will be involved. Everyone I am going with knows that I am trans, and is supportive. My questions/concerns are:

  • If I get up to use the bathroom, should I ask anyone if they would like to come with?
  • If another woman gets up, should I offer to go with?
  • If we are using the restroom at the same time, and I finish first, should I wait for them? If so, inside, or outside?

I'm mostly just wanting to act "normal," and don't want to unknowingly perform any social faux pas. Thanks!

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[-] FoxyFerengi@startrek.website 18 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Edit: one of the answers below made me realize there may differences across generations and localities. I'm an elder millenial, and I'm in the US.

It depends on where you are, if you're in a loud bar or a club it's more common to use the buddy system when going to the bathroom. Sometimes someone will ask you to go with them if they are stressed or annoyed at something and want to talk about it, but that's rare in my experience.

Take a lipstick or something and "touch up" your makeup. That way you're waiting for them without seeming like you're waiting. But yes, generally you wait until your friend is ready to return. If it's a crowded restroom it's okay to wait outside, it's up to you if you want to tell your friend that you'll just be outside the door

It's okay to say "oh, I'll go with you" if you also need to use the restroom and it's not a loud and energetic venue. Sometimes ya just gotta go and don't realize until someone else is getting up lol

this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2025
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