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Know your limits (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
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[-] jared@mander.xyz 140 points 6 days ago

I wish i could just turn off on command.

[-] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 95 points 6 days ago

I seriously don't get it. My wife can do it every night. She just lays down and goes to sleep. Like what? I need at least three hours of wrestling my worst thoughts before I can sleep

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 33 points 6 days ago

Every damn night ... Toss turn toss turn toss turn... Finally sleep, a gnat on the other side of town farts and I'm up... Go to the bathroom, rinse repeat... 1 1/2 hr before I have to be up and fucking gigantic loud as hell disel trucks start their parade...

I just want to sleeeeepppp

[-] khannie@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

I'm very similar. Earplugs have been a game changer for me. Might be worth a whirl for you.

[-] Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 6 days ago

I am basically your wife. When I lie down to sleep, I am unconscious within five minutes. Typically. My issue comes from staying asleep. I will wake up anywhere from 3 to 15 times a night and I fucking hate it.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 12 points 6 days ago

You need a baby and a toddler! You'll wake up the same number of times but at least you'll have company and something to do.

[-] MotoAsh@piefed.social 4 points 6 days ago

That's not unusual, depending on a few factors. What really matters is how disruptive it is. I do the same, but as long as it's just a rollover, I can be back to dream land in a minute or two. ... unless it was shitty dreams, then I might be missing the rest of my sleep...

[-] Luccus@feddit.org 17 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I learned a while ago that constant thoughts of death and despair before sleep may indicate an anxiety disorder. However, since online diagnoses from strangers are almost always bullshit, I'd like to recommend a weighted blanket. I know it sounds stupid, but the weighted blanket fucks are right. You probably want one.

[-] tetrachromacy@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

Can confirm. Bought weighted blanket, and it helps me sleep to the point where I have a hard time without it. So every night I'm sleeping away from home I need to carry a 20lb weighted blanket with me. Not great but the sleep is great so you gotta take the good with the bad I guess.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 11 points 6 days ago

Maybe you should just hire a person to lie on you when you travel? Hotel concierge could probably find one.

[-] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 3 points 6 days ago

My anti-depressants definitely help. I already sweat like a pig in 62 degrees, I would die of heat stroke under a weighted blanket, lol.

[-] tamal3@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Smoke weed and listen to boring stories on headphones meant for sleeping. D&D podcasts are great for this.

[-] ferrule@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago

my wife gets mad i can turn off, so sometimes she punches me to wake me up just so i suffer along with her

[-] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 2 points 5 days ago

I call mine "Magikarp" when she flops around in her sleep and hits me. She, uh, is not amused with the nickname, lol.

[-] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 6 days ago

I used to be like this, and suddenly changed virtually overnight after being on an SNRI for anxiety for like a year. It also results in me waking up before 9 am every day, when I used to be a get up at noon person. It’s weird as shit and I slightly suspect a helpful brain tumor.

[-] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 1 points 6 days ago

I've been on various anti-anxiety and anti-depressants for years. They definitely helped but still not fully.

[-] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 6 days ago

Yeah, SSRIs did jack shit for me when I tried them so it’s not a silver bullet. I’m not even sure it’s the SNRI, but I’m not sure what else it would be.

[-] Zorg 3 points 6 days ago

If racing/anxious thoughts isn't the cause, you may have great success with the military sleep method: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/military-sleep-method

I was sure the version I'd read months ago, had you tense up the muscles before relaxing them section by section; but I could not immediately find any variabts which mentioned that part. I used to do the very lite version, counting my breaths. Worked pretty well, over the years - after getting my head sorted out first - I've built a habit of falling asleep in 5~15 mins. Used to often take an hour, occasionally 2~3.

[-] iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago

You lie yourself, and you lay other things. Your wife lies down and goes to sleep.

[-] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 1 points 5 days ago

That's an artificial distinction some grammarians decided to put into textbooks in the 1700s. Many many people use lie and lay interchangeably and the thing about language is how people use it is how it's defined.

[-] prole 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I just do all that before I get into bed lol...

But no really, I've gotten a little better at being aware of my thoughts if they start spiraling, and terminating it before it gets too bad. Took a long time though.

Have you tried meditation? When I do it, I tend to get through most of that nonsense a lot faster. Just sit, focus on breathing, and if something pops into your head, recognize it and clear your mind. Eventually things should settle down and you can try sleeping.

Set an alarm for 10-15 min. Sitting on the floor is best, but aid that's uncomfortable, a chair is fine for the first few sessions to see if it'll work.

[-] Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

As an add-on to this, some people are inherently better at meditation to start with. So hearing from other people how short their journey was from "meditation is just a waste of time" to "after some practice it started to be more effective" can be really discouraging for people where that journey can be years. But everyone can get good at meditating. And generally, the harder or more useless it seems to start out, the more you need what it offers.

Yup, give it a few sessions before giving up on it.

[-] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 2 points 6 days ago

I tried it for a month or two before without much luck. I think my wife and I are about to try what another commented suggested. Having a kid and letting them grind me down

I have kids, and I can confirm they do a good job.

[-] Shayeta@feddit.org 2 points 6 days ago

Same, my issue was resolved after I started taking 1mg of melatonin 20min before bed. Now I can just lie down, close my eyes and thats it.

[-] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 days ago

I save my wrist thoughts for when I have 3-4 hours of sleep, then they get the rest of the night.

[-] tyler@programming.dev 2 points 6 days ago

But what about your ankle thoughts?

[-] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 days ago

Too hard to reach

[-] plm00@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 days ago

I know of a great way to do it. But you can only do it once.

[-] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago

I can do it too but I'm a psychopath and I can easily push the intrusive thoughts out and clear my head easily.

this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2025
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