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my husband is now my wife, how do we make it not awkward for the kids? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 weeks ago by Pa55i0n@sh.itjust.works to c/asktransgender
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i (37, bigender/f) have a wife (37mtf). now i guess she has always been my wife. even as a teen, she identified as trans before detransitioning. she wanted to join the girl scouts, too as a kid. i feel like as the wife of a trans woman, she has always been a woman. however, we are so used to her being a guy. i have heard many stories such as "it's awkward for me because my dad is now my mom" or "i refuse to call my 'dad' by 'his' correct pronouns and 'he' is a trans woman", stuff like that.

our three kids have always been very supportive of the lgbtq community, though, knowing we are and 2/3 of them being lgbtq themselves.

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[-] ada 36 points 2 weeks ago

So, here's the thing with kids, especially queer kids.

Generally, being awkward in this situation isn't something that comes naturally. They are taught the awkwardness.

And what you need to demonstrate to them is that you're allowed to be imperfect, and make mistakes with words and terms, and language, but that the mistakes are just habits, and that once you strip the habits away, you see each other for who they are. The habits will sort themselves out after that.

this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2025
27 points (100.0% liked)

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