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Conservatives Are Running Out of Things to Eat
(newrepublic.com)
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Well, corn flakes was invented by anti masturbation crusader. Kellog thought that flavorful food causes young boys to rub one out.
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/32042/corn-flakes-were-invented-part-anti-masturbation-crusade
I mean, he's not wrong, but I could be just as horny eating cardboard.