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Mother started acting nice after I cut my cords with her (leminal.space)
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by july@leminal.space to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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Some info: 22M, looking to move out. It started last weekend when we were discussing politics, she got mad and loudly called me an idiot. Outside, public street btw. A bit before this she also screamed at me in a minimarket for me not wanting to put my backpack in their storage boxes. Lol.

I get she was tired but she didn’t even apologize until later home when I told her about it.

Then next night I had some dreams about all the stupid shit I had to through as a kid of hers. I woke up with a disgusted taste about her and I didn’t want to talk with her anymore.

It’s been a 6 days, where I continually ignored her. She keeps coming at my door asking to “repair things”. You can’t repair 22 years of negligence. I told her that I need space and time and I will talk to her after. She keeps going against my boundaries and asks what’s wrong. Since I’ve already told her, now I’m blasting music on my headphones because it seems she can’t understand how to accord private space. She has the mentality that “I’m your mother hence I can do anything”

Now she talks nice but I know it’s just a matter of time. It’s a manipulation tactic to get me back. She doesn’t actually feel sorry.

Thanks for reading.

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[-] july@leminal.space 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

She has no friends, really, so she uses that as an excuse to keep talking to them and also because its the only family she has left.

Wow I relate with this so much. They screwed up my friendships so much and made me think I only can and should speak my thoughts with them.

I feel bad because she just takes the abuse and somehow doesn’t realize you dont have to feel bad or miserable all the time because of what someone does to you.

In my case, they made me think there is nothing to feel bad about. They gaslighted me that they are the right ones always. I would also not be allowed to be sad, because "look how good of a parents we are, in the world there are much worse, so you should be happy, we don't beat you like others do". OK? What I am supposed to say there... That's your job.. you born me. I was 9 when they first told me so of course I couldn't but just take it in.

It made me think along the way that they are right. BUT, if I do what they did (scream at them) I would be the bad one!

I knew subconsciously they're wrong, but voicing my opinion would turn into screams and silent treatment.

I don't want to scream at other people. I want to be a good friend.

Apparently I'm the bad one and immature because I cut connections with my dad a few months ago. My uncle made fun of that. I'm tired of them honestly. It feels like I've lived all my life with a burden. Until now I always tried to see the good side in things (just like they did teach me). There are wars outside, kids without parents, but that doesn't mean I should accept all the belittling they do to me.

Sorry for the rant. Felt good writing this though.

this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
58 points (100.0% liked)

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