58
Mother started acting nice after I cut my cords with her
(leminal.space)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
58 points (100.0% liked)
Mental Health
5856 readers
88 users here now
Welcome
This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.
Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.
If you need someone to talk to, @therapygary@lemmy.blahaj.zone has kindly given his signal username to talk to: TherapyGary13.12
Rules
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
- No promoting paid services/products.
- Be kind and civil. No bigotry/prejudice either.
- No victim blaming. Nor giving incredibly simplistic solutions (i.e. You have ADHD? Just focus easier.)
- No encouraging suicide, no matter what. This includes telling someone to commit homicide as "dragging them down with you".
- Suicide note posts will be removed, and you will be reached out to in private.
- If you would like advice, mention the country you are in. (We will not assume the US as the default.)
If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.
Partner Communities
To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.
Becoming a Mod
Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to @fxomt@lemmy.dbzer0.com.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
My wife's parents were like that. Not so much the father, but the mother definitely knew how to manipulate things and at her worst it was disgusting what she called her or even me when we just started dating (over text and I saw it). She has 2 sisters, and it was very obvious she was the most neglected. I was furious but my tongue. She never learned to cope or accept that it was even a problem or not normal no matter what I said. So idk where I am going with this because the end result was they both died about 5 years ago a few months apart, so she never learned anything.
I will say both her sisters are way more awful, and thankfully, she has just started taking my advice finally and is distancing herself from them and not calling as much. I think she is finally tired of feeling awful after just talking on the phone. She has no friends, really, so she uses that as an excuse to keep talking to them and also because its the only family she has left. I told her that if my family treated me anywhere near what they do to you, you bet I would cut ties instantly. I feel bad because she just takes the abuse and somehow doesn't realize you dont have to feel bad or miserable all the time because of what someone does to you. The longer she distances herself, though, the more she seems to realize she is better off just for her mental state alone.
Wow I relate with this so much. They screwed up my friendships so much and made me think I only can and should speak my thoughts with them.
In my case, they made me think there is nothing to feel bad about. They gaslighted me that they are the right ones always. I would also not be allowed to be sad, because "look how good of a parents we are, in the world there are much worse, so you should be happy, we don't beat you like others do". OK? What I am supposed to say there... That's your job.. you born me. I was 9 when they first told me so of course I couldn't but just take it in.
It made me think along the way that they are right. BUT, if I do what they did (scream at them) I would be the bad one!
I knew subconsciously they're wrong, but voicing my opinion would turn into screams and silent treatment.
I don't want to scream at other people. I want to be a good friend.
Apparently I'm the bad one and immature because I cut connections with my dad a few months ago. My uncle made fun of that. I'm tired of them honestly. It feels like I've lived all my life with a burden. Until now I always tried to see the good side in things (just like they did teach me). There are wars outside, kids without parents, but that doesn't mean I should accept all the belittling they do to me.
Sorry for the rant. Felt good writing this though.