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Charisma
(gregtech.eu)
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this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
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I'm in a relationship with a person who apologizes dozens of times a day for stuff that absolutely doesn't require an apology.
Basically all that it's done is make their apologies meaningless.
And at a certain point it comes off as attention seeking behavior, because it feels like it's about garnering sympathy instead of actually caring about my feelings.
That is often caused by abuse earlier in their life that forms a habit which is hard to break. Frequently being blamed for things they may or may not have done and being forced to apologize becomes a habit, or trying to deflect because they are worried that the other person might be upset when things don't go perfectly can be hard to stop doing.
It does come across as attention seeking.
Yeah I struggle with it myself. But I'll also say "hurt people hurt people" is usually used to refer to how many cruel and assertively abusive people have trauma, but it also works very well to describe how many trauma responses including sympathetic ones can damage those around you. I've been abused by someone whose entire tactic was about how damaged and traumatized she was and despite her constant lies, I do believe that her self image issues and inability to sit with her thoughts are real, even that she had a background of being abused, but she left behind a trail of hurt people that she'd latched onto as potential saviors. And the inability to handle someone being upset with them is one of the really damaging things about these people, as enforcing boundaries makes you into the villain.
Sorry if that was more trauma dump than helpful addition. I have feelings about all this