you came in hot with your nose out of joint

Sure, make it my fault for disagreeing that following fundamental principles of good game design is somehow a cop out. Whatever makes you sleep better.

What is "in it" for the non-queer gamers...

And you proceed to describe what would benefit queer people, if they managed to keep non-queer gamers on their side or at least neutral. Which just proves my point.

People want to feel all nice and accepting and open minded but they never want it to actually inconvenience them.

Some people don't want to be inconvenienced at all, most people don't want to be inconvenienced for no good reason. There is a big difference.

It's worthless to conceed ground over and over again to people who always wanted us to disappear. It doesn't work.

Yes, what you are doing now seems to be working great. Best of luck with that.