Exploring sexuality within a closed monogamous relationship. Questions(s)? (self.lgbtq_plus)

submitted 2 weeks ago by Blahaj_Blast to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

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So, I realized a Lil while back, (2+y) I'm mtf trans. My spouse and I have been together ~16 years and now she's committed to seeing this through and seeing how things end up because she loves me, not my flesh necessarily. But, she's concerned because we grew up with a very strict, conservative, religious background and did always consider ourselves cishet.

She loves me for me, but is worried about the future and super curious about exploring her sexuality to figure out if she's as straight as she thought (she's also had some do I want her or to be her thoughts).

Main point is, does anyone have any suggestions for how she can explore and figure things out without opening the marriage, and preferably without porn?

I'm still struggling to understand the romantic and sexual attraction spectrums and where I fit in the, but she seems very high on the romantic spectrum as in, she can't imagine being intimate without a serious relationship.

I don't know. I'm just looking for options to help her figure herself out, and us out, while I figure myself out too.

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[-] LassCalibur@beehaw.org 1 points 2 weeks ago

Really explore ideas and concepts from the base of your psyche without lumping all the societal bullshit on top, if possible.

Approaching my lived experiences of attraction as mere phenomena, was critical to (or was it the cause of, or rather the anticipation of?) finding them to be unbound by social constructs of gender, sex, or sexuality. Try not to mistake the map for the territory. The menu is not the meal.